Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Two Things I Have Recently Learned About Women

con⋅fuse –verb
1. to perplex or bewilder
2. to make unclear or indistinct
3. to fail to distinguish between
I wish I could say I came to the insight through my own trial and error, but not being very bright in the ways of the female mind, anything I have figured out through my own experiences is more than likely incorrect anyhow. This past weekend I learned two ‘truths’ about women, from women. They are as follows:

1) Never, ever, ask a woman her age.
i) Asking a women’s age should only be done to girls in their early 20’s and below.
ii) You can get away with asking a server/waitress her age, regardless of how old she is, as they will answer to ensure their gratuity is above the standard 15%. They may however not tell you the truth.

2) No really does mean Yes.
i) A No in regards to sex, really does mean No.
ii) Three No’s in a row however really does mean No as well.

Confused? I know I still am.

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