Chasing Distractions Turns 1!

birth⋅day –noun
[burth-dey]
1. a day marking or commemorating the origin, founding, or beginning of something

Well it is official, I have been writing this blog for over a year now, off and on of course. The year began off on a bad note; I was suffering from a case of depression or some sort of quarter/mid-life crisis. I had just turned 30, broke up with my girlfriend, cut myself off from friends and family and suffered from a bad case of insomnia. It took awhile but I clawed myself back from the brink with the help of many distractions.

Now a year later I’m not sure much has changed. I’m still lonely, I’m still broke, but I have learned something from this all, and that is I get everything I ever want. And I mean everything. All I have to do is ask for it and the universe provides, from careers, to friends to girls to trips and prizes and all the highs and lows that come with it all. I have asked for all of it. The question then remains, why I am I still unhappy sometimes?

Originally I set out to write this post explaining that this blog had a good run, but I’m generally happy now and I have nothing to complain about anymore. Because really, that’s what blogging is all about right? Complaining?

I don't know, maybe I'll just stick around for a little longer.

If you’d like to give Chasing Distractions a birthday present, why not leave some comments, promote my Help Me Volunteer At The Olympics post, or simply donate to my ‘Get Me To The Olympics’ fund.



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“I wish I was an angel”

su⋅i⋅cide –noun  
[soo-uh-sahyd]
1. the intentional taking of one's own life
2. a person who intentionally takes his or her own life
I had a really bad sleep last night. I managed to get a solid three hours in, but from 12am to 6am I was lucky to average 20 minutes and hour. I think I am coming down with a cold, or some sort of flu bug. All my joints are achy and I have a slight headache.

In those semi-conscious hours between 12am and 6am, I wrote over 20 posts in my head. You know that delusional state between sleep and waking, where you sort of daydream with your eyes closed? Well ya, that’s where I wrote all those posts, and I guess that’s where they are going to stay too because now I forget most of them. However this one stayed with me, probably because it is so dark.

This is not a true memory, as I have no recollection of the event, other than what my Mother divulged to me one evening after she had been drinking wine. When I was just a little guy of three years old I became really morose and withdrawn. One December evening my Mom packed me in the car and drove all around Hometown so I could see the Christmas lights, living in an apartment we never really got to string up our Christmas lights. I guess she thought this would cheer me up. As we approached one house I asked her what was the thing on top of the house there all lit up, she responded by saying ‘Oh that’s an angel honey’. I don’t know if there was more to the conversation, where I asked what an angel was, but from what I gather I said with a sigh ‘I wish I was an angel’.

What a dark and disturbing thing for a kid to say. It totally freaked my Mom out. How could her three-year-old child be so depressed? How can a child be suicidal?

Of course I don’t have a memory of this conversation, but adults tend to blow things out of proportion sometimes, maybe I just really wanted to sit on the roof. At that point in my life I don’t think I knew anyone who had died, or could even understand the concept of death, but who knows?




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Insomnia = Chasing Distractions

in·som·ni·a –noun
[in-som-nee-uh]
1. inability to obtain sufficient sleep, esp. when chronic; difficulty in falling or staying asleep; sleeplessness.

Insomnia is a sleep disorder that is characterized by difficulty falling asleep, staying asleep, or a combination of both. You know you are suffering from insomnia if you have one or more of the following symptoms:

• Difficulty falling asleep
• Waking up often during the night and having trouble going back to sleep
• Waking up too early in the morning
• Feeling tired upon waking
  

Insomnia is classified into two types based on how long it lasts and how often it occurs. You can suffer acute insomnia (short-term) or chronic insomnia (long term). It can also come and go, with periods of time when you do not have any sleep problems at all. Acute insomnia can last from one night to a few weeks. Chronic insomnia happens when you have sleep problems at least three nights a week for a month or longer.

Sleep hygiene, or good sleeping habits, can help you to beat insomnia. Here are some tips I found:

• Try to go to sleep at the same time each night and get up at the same time each morning.
• Try not to take naps during the day because naps may make you less sleepy at night.
• Avoid caffeine, nicotine, and alcohol late in the day. Caffeine and nicotine are stimulants and can keep you from falling asleep. Alcohol can cause waking in the night and interferes with sleep quality.
• Get regular exercise. Try not to exercise close to bedtime because it may stimulate you and make it hard to fall asleep. Experts suggest not exercising for at least three to four hours before the time you go to sleep.
• Don't eat a heavy meal late in the day. A light snack before bedtime, however, may help you sleep.
• Make your bedroom comfortable. Be sure that it is dark, quiet, and not too warm or too cold. If light is a problem, try a sleeping mask. If noise is a problem, try earplugs, a fan, or a "white noise" machine to cover up the sounds.
• Follow a routine to help you relax before sleep. Read a book, listen to music, or take a bath.
• Avoid using your bed for anything other than sleep or sex.
• If you can't fall asleep and don't feel drowsy, get up and read or do something that is not overly stimulating until you feel sleepy.
• If you find yourself lying awake worrying about things, try making a to-do list before you go to bed. This may help you to not focus on those worries overnight.
  

In case you are still fighting to get to sleep, here are three more insomnia related resources:

• The Facts on Insomnia
• eMedicineHealth - Insomnia
• Insomnia: How to Get a Good Night's Sleep

I am starting to sink into another bout of chronic insomnia. For the past two weeks I have only been able to get approximately two hours of sleep per night. When you have insomnia you are never really asleep and you are never really awake. It is hard to concentrate and be motivated to get things done during the day.

Thankfully I work from home, so when insomnia drops the hammer on me it is a little easier to cope. I did not always work from home, I too used to have a real job and work in the real world, and let me tell you it was very difficult to trudge through the day running at thirty percent efficiency.

I have a self-diagnosed case of depression and anxiety, which I think is the main cause of my insomnia. When the black shroud of depression begins to creep over me I try to make busy. I will clean my apartment. I will read a book. I will write a short story. I will go for an aimless drive in my car. I will do anything to distract myself from the feelings brought on by depression. Anything to avoid the haunting of my memories. That is why I decided to create this blog. I am on an ever pursuit of distraction.

I am constantly Chasing Distractions.

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Source: WebMD