Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Gray Days Make Me Feel Blue

im⋅pul⋅sive –adjective
[im-puhl-siv]
1. actuated or swayed by emotional or involuntary impulses
These overcast gray days always make me feel blue. I can’t help but look at my life on these days and feel sorry for myself. I guess I need more vitamin D.

Speaking of gray, the other day I found not one, but three gray hairs. It’s a sad state of affairs when you realize you are getting old and there is nothing you can do about it…

It is these type of days I mourn for my wasted life – being broke, lonely, and growing older by the minute I decided to give online dating one more shot.

This time things went well. Maybe it was luck of the draw, my slimmed down profile, or new profile picture, who knows, but I received many more contacts than I did before, from people that actually seemed pretty decent too.

I started a 2-week long correspondence via email with one of the people I connected with and a few days ago we met up for a date. In my mind it went well. Great conversation and laughs, I felt I was just charming enough and that there was some chemistry between us, but in the end I was wrong.

Maybe I blew the ending by not sealing the deal with a goodnight kiss, I didn’t want to be presumptuous, I am a gentleman after all. Or it could have been the text messages I sent not 10 minutes after the date stating what a good time I had. It might also have had something to do with me adding her to Facebook the next day, (she never did accept my friend request) whatever it was I never heard from her again.

What can I say, I’m impulsive, and in her I saw everything I wanted in a relationship. Came on too strong, or just not right for the dating world?

Whatever it is I better figure it out soon because I’m getting tired of doing everything alone and pretending to myself that everything is going to be okay. It’s exhausting.



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