Chasing Distractions

Jack Layton (July 18, 1950 – August 22, 2011)

2011-08-22T10:28:00.000-07:00

R.I.P. abbr.
Origin: Latin requiēscant in pāce
1. may he or she rest in peace
2. may they rest in peace

Early this morning, NDP leader Jack Layton died, succumbing to cancer. He was 61.

Below is a copy of the open letter that he wrote to Canadians on Saturday August 20th, 2011:

Dear Friends,

Tens of thousands of Canadians have written to me in recent weeks to wish me well. I want to thank each and every one of you for your thoughtful, inspiring and often beautiful notes, cards and gifts. Your spirit and love have lit up my home, my spirit, and my determination.

Unfortunately my treatment has not worked out as I hoped. So I am giving this letter to my partner Olivia to share with you in the circumstance in which I cannot continue.

I recommend that Hull-Aylmer MP Nycole Turmel continue her work as our interim leader until a permanent successor is elected.

I recommend the party hold a leadership vote as early as possible in the New Year, on approximately the same timelines as in 2003, so that our new leader has ample time to reconsolidate our team, renew our party and our program, and move forward towards the next election.

A few additional thoughts:

To other Canadians who are on journeys to defeat cancer and to live their lives, I say this: please don’t be discouraged that my own journey hasn’t gone as well as I had hoped. You must not lose your own hope. Treatments and therapies have never been better in the face of this disease. You have every reason to be optimistic, determined, and focused on the future. My only other advice is to cherish every moment with those you love at every stage of your journey, as I have done this summer.

To the members of my party: we’ve done remarkable things together in the past eight years. It has been a privilege to lead the New Democratic Party and I am most grateful for your confidence, your support, and the endless hours of volunteer commitment you have devoted to our cause. There will be those who will try to persuade you to give up our cause. But that cause is much bigger than any one leader. Answer them by recommitting with energy and determination to our work. Remember our proud history of social justice, universal health care, public pensions and making sure no one is left behind. Let’s continue to move forward. Let’s demonstrate in everything we do in the four years before us that we are ready to serve our beloved Canada as its next government.

To the members of our parliamentary caucus: I have been privileged to work with each and every one of you. Our caucus meetings were always the highlight of my week. It has been my role to ask a great deal from you. And now I am going to do so again. Canadians will be closely watching you in the months to come. Colleagues, I know you will make the tens of thousands of members of our party proud of you by demonstrating the same seamless teamwork and solidarity that has earned us the confidence of millions of Canadians in the recent election.

To my fellow Quebecers: On May 2nd, you made an historic decision. You decided that the way to replace Canada’s Conservative federal government with something better was by working together in partnership with progressive-minded Canadians across the country. You made the right decision then; it is still the right decision today; and it will be the right decision right through to the next election, when we will succeed, together. You have elected a superb team of New Democrats to Parliament. They are going to be doing remarkable things in the years to come to make this country better for us all.

To young Canadians: All my life I have worked to make things better. Hope and optimism have defined my political career, and I continue to be hopeful and optimistic about Canada. Young people have been a great source of inspiration for me. I have met and talked with so many of you about your dreams, your frustrations, and your ideas for change. More and more, you are engaging in politics because you want to change things for the better. Many of you have placed your trust in our party. As my time in political life draws to a close I want to share with you my belief in your power to change this country and this world.

There are great challenges before you, from the overwhelming nature of climate change to the unfairness of an economy that excludes so many from our collective wealth, and the changes necessary to build a more inclusive and generous Canada. I believe in you. Your energy, your vision, your passion for justice are exactly what this country needs today. You need to be at the heart of our economy, our political life, and our plans for the present and the future.

And finally, to all Canadians: Canada is a great country, one of the hopes of the world. We can be a better one – a country of greater equality, justice, and opportunity. We can build a prosperous economy and a society that shares its benefits more fairly. We can look after our seniors. We can offer better futures for our children. We can do our part to save the world’s environment. We can restore our good name in the world. We can do all of these things because we finally have a party system at the national level where there are real choices; where your vote matters; where working for change can actually bring about change. In the months and years to come, New Democrats will put a compelling new alternative to you.

My colleagues in our party are an impressive, committed team. Give them a careful hearing; consider the alternatives; and consider that we can be a better, fairer, more equal country by working together. Don’t let them tell you it can’t be done.

My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world.

All my very best,

Jack Layton

RIP Jack Layton, you will be missed.

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Are You Smarter Than An 1895 8th Grader

2011-06-05T06:58:00.000-07:00

im·pos·si·ble –adjective
[im-pos-uh-buhl]
1. unable to be done, performed, effected

My grandfather forwarded this email to me the other day. Typically I immediately delete forwards without reading them, but my grandfather is a pretty good screener and will only forward emails of interest. So without further adieu, here is what it said:

What it took to get an 8th grade education in 1895...

Remember when grandparents and great-grandparents stated that they only had an 8th grade education? Well, check this out. Could any of us have passed the 8th grade in 1895?

This is the eighth-grade final exam from 1895 in Salina, Kansas, USA ... It was taken from the original document on file at the Smokey Valley Genealogical Society and Library in Salina, and reprinted by the Salina Journal.

8th Grade Final Exam:
Salina, KS - 1895

Grammar (Time, one hour)
1. Give nine rules for the use of capital letters.
2. Name the parts of speech and define those that have no modifications
3. Define verse, stanza and paragraph.
4. What are the principal parts of a verb? Give principal parts of 'lie,' 'play,' and 'run'.
5. Define case; illustrate each case.
6 What is punctuation? Give rules for principal marks of punctuation.
7 - 10. Write a composition of about 150 words and show therein that you understand the practical use of the rules of grammar.

Arithmetic (Time, 1 hour 15 minutes)
1. Name and define the Fundamental Rules of Arithmetic.
2. A wagon box is 2 ft. Deep, 10 feet Long, and 3 ft. Wide. How many bushels of wheat will it hold?
3. If a load of wheat weighs 3,942 lbs, what is it worth at 50 cts/bushel, deducting 1,050 lbs for tare?
4. District No 33 has a valuation of $35,000. What is the necessary levy to carry on a school seven months at $50 per month, and have $104 for incidentals?
5. Find the cost of 6,720 lbs. Coal at $6.00 per ton.
6. Find the interest of $512.60 for 8 months and 18 days at 7 percent per annum.
7. What is the cost of 40 boards 12 inches wide and 16 ft long at $20 per metre?
8... Find bank discount on $300 for 90 days (no grace) at 10 percent.
9. What is the cost of a square farm at $15 per acre, the distance of which is 640 rods?
10. Write a Bank Check, a Promissory Note, and a Receipt.

U.S. History (Time, 45 minutes)
1. Give the epochs into which U.S. History is divided
2. Give an account of the discovery of America by Columbus.
3. Relate the causes and results of the Revolutionary War.
4. Show the territorial growth of the United States.
5. Tell what you can of the history of Kansas.
6. Describe three of the most prominent battles of the Rebellion.
7. Who were the following: Morse, Whitney, Fulton, Bell, Lincoln, Penn, and Howe?
8. Name events connected with the following dates: 1607, 1620, 1800, 1849, 1865.

Orthography (Time, one hour)
[Do we even know what this is??]
1. What is meant by the following: alphabet, phonetic, orthography, etymology, syllabication?
2. What are elementary sounds? How classified?
3. What are the following, and give examples of each: trigraph, subvocals, diphthong, cognate letters, linguals?
4. Give four substitutes for caret 'u'.
5. Give two rules for spelling words with final 'e.' Name two exceptions under each rule.
6. Give two uses of silent letters in spelling. Illustrate each.
7. Define the following prefixes and use in connection with a word: bi, dis, pre, semi, post, non, inter, mono, sup.
8. Mark diacritically and divide into syllables the following, and name the sign that indicates the sound: card, ball, mercy, sir, odd, cell, rise, blood, fare, last.
9. Use the following correctly in sentences: cite, site, sight, fane, fain, feign, vane, vain, vein, raze, raise, rays.
10. Write 10 words frequently mispronounced and indicate pronunciation by use of diacritical marks and by syllabication.

Geography (Time, one hour)
1 What is climate? Upon what does climate depend?
2. How do you account for the extremes of climate in Kansas?
3. Of what use are rivers? Of what use is the ocean?
4. Describe the mountains of North America.
5. Name and describe the following: Monrovia, Odessa, Denver, Manitoba, Hecla, Yukon, St. Helena, Juan Fernandez, Aspinwall and Orinoco.
6. Name and locate the principal trade centers of the U.S. Name all the republics of Europe and give the capital of each.
8. Why is the Atlantic Coast colder than the Pacific in the same latitude?
9. Describe the process by which the water of the ocean returns to the sources of rivers.
10. Describe the movements of the earth. Give the inclination of the earth.

HUH??? Are they kidding??? This is hard to believe....
Notice that the exam took FIVE HOURS to complete.

Gives the saying 'he only had an 8th grade education' a whole new meaning, doesn't it?!
Also shows you how our education system has changed and, NO, I don't have the answers!

Although the document in question is real, it is not actually known if this examination was intended for 8th graders. I'm not even going to try to answer these questions, but if you would like to, here are the unconfirmed answers.

If you like impossible tests, you may also like to try the Impossible Quiz.

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Free Things To Do In Ottawa This Summer

2011-05-18T05:41:00.000-07:00

free –adjective
[free]
1. provided without, or not subject to, a charge or payment

On an ever pursuit of saving a buck or two, I have decided to share with you my list of FREE things to do in Ottawa this summer:

Events

May

International Museum Day - although I wasn't able to find which Ottawa museums are participating, May 18th is International Museum Day and admission should be FREE.

Canadian Tulip Festival is FREE until May 23rd.

The Great Glebe Garage Sale it's FREE to walk around, but will cost ya to buy someone else's junk and takes place on May 28th.

June

Orleans Festival, yup, that’s right, Orleans has its own festival, and it's FREE. If you want to drive all the way out there, it runs from June 3rd to June 4th.

Bicycle Rodeo - I'm not really sure what it is, but it is on June 4th and it's FREE.

Auto Classic in the ByWard Market - Sunday, June 5th and the admission is FREE.

Westfest is a FREE multidisciplinary art festival, which runs from June 10th to June 12th.

Summer Solstice Aboriginal Arts Festival is a celebration of everything aboritiginal. Admission is free and the event takes place from June 17th to June 19th.

The Ottawa Fringe Theatre and Arts Festival provides some FREE shows and takes place this summer between June 16th to June 26th.

The Community Cup is a FREE one-day multicultural event that takes place on June 26th.

July

Canada Day at the Parliament Hill it's FREE and if you don't know already, it's on July 1st.

Ottawa International Jazz Festival offers some FREE shows and takes place June 23rd to July 3rd.

August

Ottawa GreekFest is annual event that features live Greek music and traditional Greek cuisine. The event is FREE and runs from August 11th to the 22nd.

Colonel By Day is a free heritage festival that celebrates the founding of Ottawa and the construction of the Rideau Canal. There event runs on On August 1st, 2011, between 11am - 4pm and will feature live music, such as the local FiddleGround and Heritage Hands Ottawa Drum Club, and performances by Scottish dancers, step dancers, English country dancers, and local story teller Ruthanne Edward. There is also free admission to the Bytown Museum.

Ongoing Events

Parliament Hill Tours are offered FREE everyday of the year.

Jane's Walk, a festival of free neighbourhood walking tours that runs throughout the summer and the service is offered FREE.

Mosaika, Sound and Light Show is offered for FREE every evening from July 6th to September 11th, on Parliament Hill.

Supreme Court of Canada provides FREE guided tours daily.

Music Under the Stars is a FREE event every Thursday from 7pm to 9pm, which takes place June 16th to July 21th.

The Great Outdoors

Gatineau Park is always FREE and you can explore such sites as the Lusk Caves, Pink Lake and the Eardley Escarpment.

Museums

National Gallery of Canada - FREE admission every Thursday after 5 pm.

Canadian Museum of Civilization - FREE admission every Thursday from 4 pm to 8 pm.

Canadian Warm Museum - FREE admission every Thursday from 4 pm to 8 pm and all day on Canada Day.

Bytown Museum- FREE admission every Thursday from 5 pm to 9 pm.

The Currency Museum of the Bank of Canada - Admission to the Museum, including its programs, activities and guided tours are always FREE.

Royal Canadian Mounted Police Stable - Admission is FREE between May and August, seven days a week from 9:00 am – 3:30 pm

The Canada Aviation Museum - FREE admission between 4 pm and 5 pm every day.

Canadian Museum of Nature - FREE admission every Thursday from 5 pm to 8 pm

Workshops

Art Engine.ca. is offering a series of workshops this summer, and best of all they are FEEE.

Parking

The city actually has free parking, can you believe it? FREE parking is offered every weekend at the The World Exchange Plaza.

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New Ottawa Music Listings Guide Found

2011-02-17T13:47:00.000-08:00

list –noun
[list]
1. a series of names or other items written or printed together in a meaningful grouping or sequence

If you remember a previous post about my favourite resource for live music in Ottawa, then you may be as sad as I was to find out that Stillepost.ca has been shutdown.

For weeks I was at a loss as to where to find a good listing of local live music. I would search all the popular venue's websites each and every weekend looking to see what was happening in Capital City. It became tedious, and I thought 'Hey, if now one else is going to compile all these listings then I guess the task is up to me.'

And that, Dear Reader, is how My Ottawa Show Listings was born.

Recently My Ottawa Show Listings made it to the 2nd round of CBC Radio3's Searchlight Contest for Best Canadian Music Website. It made the first cut from over 100 sites down to 60. However it did not make the third round cut that cut the list down to the top 30 sites, which happened just a few hours ago.

Oh well, better luck next time My Ottawa Show Listings.

If you like live music and find the resource useful, please share My Ottawa Show Listings with all your friends. Also, if anyone would like to help keep the site up-to-date I could really use the help.

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Easy Way To Double Your Reward Points

2011-01-20T13:27:00.000-08:00

loop·hole –noun
[loop-hohl]
1. a means or opportunity of evading a rule, law, etc.

Now this may be painfully obvious to some, but it only occurred to me just yesterday. The easiest way to double your reward points, like Air Miles, Aeroplan, Shoppers Drug Mart Optimum Bonus Points or any other reward programs that are out there, is to first purchase a gift card.

For a personal example: I used a credit card, which gains WestJet Dollars, to purchase a $100 gift card at a local grocery store that is part of the Air Miles reward program. Then when I use the gift card to purchase my groceries, I once again can collect Air Miles on those purchases. For the same $100 worth of groceries I can collect double the amount of points!

So the question to you, Dear Reader, is with all these extra travel points where should Chasing Distractions fly to for the next distraction?

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Best. Phone. Ever.

2011-01-11T11:11:00.000-08:00

in·de·struct·i·ble –adjective
[in-di-struhk-tuh-buhl]
1. incapable of being destroyed; very durable

Just before Christmas I decided it was time to upgrade my technology and cash in some Fido Dollars for a sweet new cell phone. After much deliberation I opted for the Sony Ericsson Vivaz pro. It took a little bit of getting used to; the touch screen was new to me, as was the full qwerty keyboard, but just as I was getting the hang of it, my phone went AWOL.

December 26th, Boxing Day. A thick fog blanketed the valley as a light rain fell, turning what little snow that had acquired into a soupy, slushy mess. The temperature was hovering in the negative single digits as I arrived at Vorlage to attend another day of one-hill training. I had recently become a member of the Canadian Ski Patrol and was excited about earning my jacket. That excitement, coupled with my late arrival, led to the escape of my phone.

It would seem that in my haste I had forgotten that the phone was sitting on my lap. Once I arrived in the slush filled parking lot of Vorlage I bounded out of my vehicle without concern and rushed into the patrol hut. I would come to the realization that my phone was missing much later in the day. In fact, I had arrived home and was just beginning to dry off when I realized that my phone was most likely lying in a puddle somewhere in that slush covered parking lot.

I returned to Vorlage that night at 6pm, and with my headlights shining down on the dark parking lot, proceeded to kick around the slush, snow and ice in an attempt to find my phone. It was pouring rain so my search had to be called off after 30 minutes.

To my surprise my phone continued to ring for three days until the battery finally gave out. It was a good sign that my phone was not in fact in the parking lot, but must be in a warm a dry place, like the patrol hut. I returned one week later, and to my disappointment could not find my phone.

On the first day of 2011, the temperature was unseasonably warm. So much so that what snow and ice covered the parking lot soon melted away. And lo and behold there was my cell phone, right where I had dropped it. After a quick 2 hour charge the phone was as good as new. It even looks brand new.

As of today there does not appear to be anything wrong with it at all.

I have to repeat: Best. Phone. Ever.

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2010 - Best. Year. Ever.

2010-12-31T13:27:00.000-08:00

New Year's Eve –noun
[noo yeers eev]
1. the night of December 31, often celebrated with merrymaking to usher in the new year at midnight

From volunteering at the 2010 Olympics in Vancouver, to seeing many great shows and music festivals, as well as inventing a new music festival device and becoming a member of the Canadian Ski Patrol, 2010 has easily been the Best. Year. Ever.

Sure there were a few lows along the way, but the highs have definitely outweighed any lows that I have encountered. I've become a better and stronger person and will be able to tackle any challenges that present themselves in 2011 with confidence and clarity.

I hope you all have a wonderful New Year's Eve and are happy and content with the outcome of 2010. Just remember, things are never as bad as they seem. Patience and persistence will see you through any challenge.

For myself the New Year will be a year of some pretty big changes and as apprehensive as I may be I'm still excited to see where this new adventure will take me.

Cheers!

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Chasing Distractions' Bucket List

2010-11-22T15:56:00.000-08:00

buck·et list –noun
[buhk-it list]
1. a series of things you would like to accomplish before you die. Comes from the term "kicked the bucket".

I recently stumbled across a show on MTV that is about four young guys travelling around North America ticking off things on their Bucket List. The show is called the Buried Life and is produced my MTV. I didn't watch the entire episode, but I did take the time to look them up on the internet. Here is what Wikipedia had to say about the show:

The series focuses on four friends (Ben, Jonnie, Duncan, and Dave) as they travel across North America in a purple transit bus they named "Penelope" to complete a list of "100 things to do before you die." For every item they try to complete on their list, they help a stranger achieve one of their dreams and encourage others to go after their own lists. Everywhere they go they ask the question: "What do you want to do before you die?"

I'm not sure I can come up with '100 things to do before I die' right now, but I thought I would start my list anyway. In no particular order here it is:

1. Adopt a puppy
2. Become fluent in at least one other language
3. Build a house
4. Build an igloo
5. Discover Nunavut
6. Discover an underwater shipwreck
7. Do a tour of the Galapagos Islands
8. Do an over night horse back riding adventure
9. Do Chuck Palahniuk's tour of Portland, Oregon, visiting sites from his novel Fugitives and Refugees
10. Experience Manitoba
11. Explore the Northwest Territories
12. ~~Go white water kayaking~~ - check!
13. Get married
14. Go whale watching
15. Grow my own food
16. Hike up to Machu-Picchu
17. Learn to fly a helicopter
18. Learn to play guitar
19. Learn to play the trumpet
20. Learn to scuba dive
21. Learn to sing
22. Learn to surf
23. Live with a local nomadic family in Mongolia for at least one season
24. Live in Thailand for at least 1 year
25. Live in a cabin in the woods
26. Make babies
27. Pay off my debt
28. Perform a song in front of a live audience live
29. Rent a really fast car and drive across the desert
30. Survive a zombie apocalypse
31. Swim with the dolphins
32. Take a ride in a hot air balloon
33. Take an adventure in the Yukon
34. Travel around Saskatchewan
35. Travel into space
36. Visit Newfoundland
37. Visit Iceland and swim in the Blue Lagoon
38. Volunteer my services to impoverished areas
39. Walk along the Great Wall of China
40. Win big in the lottery
41. Work on a fishing boat for at least one day
42. Write a novel and have it published
43. Write a song
44. Act in a commercial
45. Be an extra in a movie

Well 45 things to do before I die isn't a bad start, and since I plan on living forever I guess I'll have time to add to the list.

What are some of the things that are on your list?

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Canadian Ski Patrol

2010-09-30T06:45:00.000-07:00

first aid –noun
[furst eyd]
1. emergency aid or treatment given to someone injured, suddenly ill, etc., before regular Medical services arrive or can be reached

My newest distraction to chase is training to become a member of the Canadian Ski Patrol. For approximately 9 weeks I will be learning all the ins and outs of the human body and the techniques to keep it alive long enough for EMS to arrive.

This is really the personal challenge of all personal challenges for me.

I'm very squeamish when it comes to the inner workings of the body. I much prefer to pretend that inside us all is this fire that burns. Eating fuels these flames and as we get older the flame slowly diminishes until it is snuffed out and we die. Learning about how vulnerable we are makes me feel weak. In fact I never lasted through a whole health class in high school and came close to fainting many times. I don't think I will have a problem seeing 'it' or dealing with 'it', it's more just hearing about 'it'. I have an overactive imagination and learning about our insides just freaks me out.

But what's a personal challenge unless you really challenge yourself?

Speaking of personal challenges, today is the last day of Sober September. Another successful year, but the most challenging to date, this September I attended a wedding and a bachelor party. I managed to survive the temptation so as a award for a job well done I will be attending the Oktoberfest celebrations at the Beau's Brewery this weekend.

Prost!

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A New Quit Smoking Aid

2010-09-16T13:44:00.000-07:00

big house –noun
[big hou-ziz]
1. Slang a penitentiary

I've considered myself a casual smoker for years - too many years to mention *cough-cough*. In an attempt to curb this filthy habit I thought I would take some insight from those unfortunate souls that find them self in the Big House. Well at least what I know of it from books and movies.

In the Big House the common currency is cigarettes. The current exchange rate for a cigarette is 50¢; from this day forward I will think in terms of cigarettes. For example:

If I want to order that tasty sandwich from the place around the corner it's going to cost me 13 cigarettes.

My car just went in for repairs; it's likely going to cost me 3000 cigarettes.

When this year's Sober September ends that first frosty pint of Guinness is likely to cost me 14 cigarettes plus another two for tip.

It costs me just over 1000 cigarettes a month for rent… hmm I wonder if my landlord will be up for that exchange.

Hopefully thinking in terms of cigarettes will help me to quit. For every dollar I spend that's two smokes I can't have.

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Side Clapper™

2010-09-10T05:13:00.000-07:00

side clap·per -noun
[sahyd klap-er]
1. A music festival device that allows the wearer to clap along with the band while holding their beverage

The Side Clapper™

This summer I did a bit of the music festival tour starting with the NxNE music festival in Toronto. During NxNE I began to realize a certain fact, when holding a beverage, especially one that comes in a brown bottle, it is almost impossible to clap.

During the shows I looked around at my fellow festival goers and noticed that many in attendance holding their own form of beverage would do the same thing as I would, they would either hoot and holler or slap their hip to show their appreciation for the band. I thought to myself, 'the band can't hear me slapping my hip… there's got to be a better way!' For the rest of the festival I shopped my idea around a bit and asked those in attendance that I spied slapping their hip if they think they would benefit from some sort of side clapper. I received some mixed reactions, some for, some against, some "Get away from me you drunk!"… I think they might have been still on the fence about the whole idea.

It was during the next festival, the Cisco Ottawa Bluesfest where I really decided that this device had to be made, if not for me than for the hips of festival goers all over the world. During our late night Bluesfest brainstorming sessions, (where many good ideas are formed dontcha' know?), my pitch was met with much enthusiasm. It was time turn this dream into a reality.

For the next festival, the Wolfe Island Music Festival, I recruited a few friends and together we designed the first ever prototype of the Side Clapper™. Producing only 20 prototypes for the festival my goal was to spread the word, create some buzz and hopefully convince a band to wear them on stage during the festival. Well Dear Reader I am ecstatic to stay that I exceeded my goal. Not only did I create some buzz, but I also pitched the Side Clapper™ to front man Rolf of The Acorn. Much to my surprise, and those festival goers that were wearing their own Side Clapper™, Rolf even took a few seconds out of his performance to explain the Side Clapper™, using almost the same pitch that I had given him the night before.

But don't just take my word for it, I'll let Rolf explain it himself:

The final music festival of the season was the Ottawa Folk Fest, where I once again produced a few more prototypes and tried creating some buzz. It didn't hurt that The Acorn were also performing at this festival. At one point I overhead the following: "See that guy over there? He's the inventor of the Side Clapper™. I was at Wolfe Island last week when he was handing them out."

So where does the Side Clapper™ go from here? Well I'm going to take the Fall and Winter months to design and produce a permanent version and hopefully you'll see me at the 2011 SxSW where you too can get your very own Side Clapper™.

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5 Books For Your Fall Reading List

2010-08-25T21:42:00.000-07:00

book·worm –noun
[book-wurm]
1. a person devoted to reading or studying

Once again I have been neglecting this poor blog, for that Dear Reader I am sorry.

I've been so busy Chasing Distractions this summer that I haven't been able to find the time to post any updates. Lots to fill you in on, but one of the top things to scratch off my To Do List is an update for the quasi-Book Club. Plus it will help me to clear off the number of books that are beginning to pile up on my desk.

If you remember my last Book Club update, way back in September of 2009, the next book on the list was Henry Miller's Tropic of Cancer. Well I finally finished it... it only took me about six months. What to say about Tropic of Cancer, other than Miller sure does love to throw the 'C' word around. I'm not sure if this is a work of pure fiction or just the drunken ramblings of a starving American writer living in Paris with the stories of his cohort's exploits thrown in for good measure. But who knows, maybe I missed the point entirely.

After those gruelling six months the book reading was back to one every week or so. The next 4 books for your reading list are as follows:

Bite Me is the next instalment of Christopher Moore's own Vampire trilogy. In typical Moore style Bite Me is a funny easy read. In fact I chewed through this one over a long weekend in May while lounging at the cottage.

I went back to another of my favourite authors and read back-to-back Palahnuik novels. The first was Pygmy. With its broken language writing style it reminded me of an Irvine Welsh novel. Not too much to say about this one, unfortunately once you know the author's style the ending becomes a little predictable. Overall Pygmy was a good read.

Ever wonder what goes on backstage of a porn set? Well Chuck Palahniuk's novel Snuff will answer that very question. Cassie Wright is going for a gangbang record, 600 guys, and each one has their story to tell. Although this novel also summed up with a predicable ending, the path taken to get there was enjoyable.

Last on the list was a novel I really enjoyed, The Unbearable Lightness Of Being by Milan Kundera. Although quite sad at times I really felt connected with a number of the characters. I highly recommend this novel to anyone who likes a good read.

Next on the list, and currently 130 pages in, is The Master and Margarita written by Mikhail Bulgakov. I can't wait to tell you all about it.

Well that about sums it up for me tonight. Until next time, happy reading.

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Where'd ya go CD?

2010-06-15T14:20:00.000-07:00

MIA -noun
[ěm'ī-ā']
1. A member of the armed services who is reported missing following a combat mission and whose status as to injury, capture, or death is unknown

So I've been away for some time, neglecting this poor blog, for that I do apologize to both you Dear Reader and to you poor blog.

So lets play some catch up shall we?

Around mid April I was given notice that my contract would be ending on May 31st, it's been two whole weeks now that I've been underemployed, and a whole month since I have gotten a pay cheque. For a guy that unfortunately lives hand to mouth, this friends is not a good situation to be in. On the plus side I have managed to get a couple of writing jobs and am still slowly working on my Freelance Writer website.

On May 1st I headed back to Golden BC for a few weeks to visit with the most amazing girl. It was a bittersweet visit however, as I do not think I will ever get a chance to see her again.

After that I came back to Capital City for a week, then headed off to the Muskoka's to hang out at a cottage and clear my mind. I did some visiting back in Hometown and returned once again to Capital City. In my downtime, while looking for some means of gainful employment I put together a little blog network, which I have called My Big List Of Blogs. I'm not sure what I am going to do with it, but hopefully I'll get a little traffic and gain some much needed income with this pet project of mine.

So where does Chasing Distractions go from here?

I should be putting my efforts into finding some work, getting my life back together, but my ever-muddled mind still has the urge to chase distractions. Lately I've been focusing that energy on entering contests, you all know how I love winning stuff. Yesterday I won a ride in the Bluesfest limo, got treated to a Subway lunch and was handed 4 day passes for the festival. Today I put my efforts into winning some NXNE passes, but sadly I didn't win. But never fear Dear Reader, this story does have a happy ending, fellow CBC Radio3 blogger MoniSki graciously offered me one of her own NXNE passes. How awesome is that?

On Thursday morning I plan on taking what little funds I have, jumping into my Granpa mobile and heading down to the Big Smoke for one last weekend of music and excitement. Maybe I'll even run into The Details again.

Oh speaking of The Details, in an old post I mentioned testing out recording audio with my digital handheld recorder, it worked and the quality was much better. So I'll leave you with a video from that show back in March.

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Please Support Your Local Food Bank

2010-05-18T13:54:00.000-07:00

char·i·ty –noun
[char-i-tee]
1.generous actions or donations to aid the poor, ill, or helpless

My situation has once again become dire. My current full time writing contract has recently been terminated and will wrap up at the end of this month. Devoting myself to paying down my debts, and probably chasing too many distractions, I have not saved enough to weather the storm.

I have approximately $600 to my name until I find some sort of gainful employment. Originally I had set out to branch out on my own, looking for my own clients, but realistically I will not make enough income to survive the next month. So it's back to the job boards once again.

It's funny, tragic funny not haha funny, how history repeats itself.

Five years ago when I first relocated to Capital City it was mainly due to a transfer within the company I worked for. Eight months later they laid me off and I found myself unemployed during my first summer here. Visa helped weather the storm that time by paying for my rent and groceries; sadly I'm still attempting to pay off that decision. At that time I was recommended to go to the Food Bank to help make ends meet, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it because I didn't think I needed the assistance.

Well I am one that learns from my mistakes and decided to go to my local Food Bank today for some support. I'm glad I did. Upon arriving I was shocked to see the amount of people milling about waiting for their turn to grab what limited items where available on the shelves. People of all walks of life and ages. Families with young ones. Everyone with a look of despair in their eyes. It was the most depressing site I think I have ever seen. They were serving number 19 when I arrived and I was number 47. I couldn't bring myself to stay. What meagre items they had left on the shelves, these other 46 people needed it more than I did.

I'm not entirely sure what I'm going to do next, but for any of you that read this blog and have the means to donate to your local food bank, please do so. Whatever community you live in, there is bound to be someone in need of assistance from the local food bank, and from what I have observed, the local food bank needs your help too.

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Chasing Distractions Wins The Lotto!!!!!

2010-04-01T11:48:00.000-07:00

lot·ter·y –noun
[lot-uh-ree]
1. a gambling game or method of raising money, as for some public charitable purpose, in which a large number of tickets are sold and a drawing is held for certain prizes

So I just won $3,865,774.00 in the Lotto 649 jackpot!!!!!

Say hello to the Sweet Life!

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Upcoming Ottawa Shows - Stillepost.ca

2010-03-30T10:51:00.000-07:00

con·cert –noun
[kon-surt]
1. a public musical performance in which a number of singers or instrumentalists, or both, participate

Just thought I would quickly share this great resource that I like to use when looking for upcoming shows in Ottawa.

Stillepost.ca is an all Canadian independent arts message board and show calendar. I've tried to become a member to update Capital City's show calendar, but my membership has yet to be approved.

Here are a two shows that I recently went to see, thanks in part to the Stillepost list:

The Polymorphines with The Rockalily Burlesque Girls

Saturday, March 20th - Babylon Nightclub

Thrush Hermit

Thursday, March 25th - Capital Music Hall

As you may already be able to tell my inexpensive HP CA350 Digital Camera does not have the greatest audio recording capabilities. I recently purchased a Panasonic portable audio recorder to use when I conduct interviews for work, so I was thinking I would bring both devices with me to the next show to see which one has a better audio quality.

Tomorrow I'm going to see The Details at The Cajun Attic and will test out my camera and portable recorder options. You may remember me mentioning meeting The Details on my 3rd day at the NxNE festival in Toronto.

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I'm Back!

2010-03-23T14:59:00.000-07:00

re·al·i·ty –noun
[ree-al-i-tee]
1.the state or quality of being real

After a month away I am now back in Capital City. I spent the last four weeks or so in beautiful British Columbia.

Where I went to volunteer at the 2010 Winter Olympics with the aerial crew.

And got to see some great sites in and around Vancouver.

Including going to see a couple of great shows, like:
Elliott Brood

and We Were Promised Jetpacks.

I also got a chance to do a little snowboarding at Whistler and Kicking Horse.

Where I met the most amazing girl.

And got to see her band, Jiva Tree, perform.

Over breakfast I realized where I want to spend the rest of my days.

But for now it's back to reality, back to my one room apartment and my work from home job. Back to trying to make ends meat and remain sane and happy all at the same time.

One thing I'm going to take from my trip is that I am going to attempt to bring a little bit of that Vacation Persona that we all have into my everyday life.

I'm going to get out more and try new things.
I'm not going to be afraid to talk to strangers anymore.
I'm pretty much going to go against everything I ever learned as a kid, except maybe that whole look both ways before you cross the street thing, that could still prove to be important.

My first step in this 'New Me' transformation is to upgrade to a Big Boy Bed, and from there the sky is the limit.

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Winterlude 2010

2010-02-07T18:49:00.000-08:00

ice sculp⋅ture –noun
[ahys skuhlp-cher]
1. the art of carving figurative or abstract works of art in three dimensions from a block of ice

Yesterday I picked up HP’s CA350 Digital Camera from Best Buy in preparation of my trip to Vancouver where I will be volunteering at the 2010 Olympic Games.

I thought I would test out the camera by spending, what may be my last Sunday in Capital City (well at least for a few weeks anyway), at the Winterlude ice-carving contest.

I hope you enjoy the pictures:

The One Block Challenge

3rd Place Winner

2nd Place Winner

1st Place Winner

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Rogers & Fido Customers Can Text Donate To The Haiti Earthquake Relief Fund

2010-01-15T03:21:00.000-08:00

do⋅na⋅tion –noun
[doh-ney-shuhn]
1. an act or instance of presenting something as a contribution.

By now you are most likely aware of the massive 7.0 earthquake that hit Haiti on Tuesday just outside the country’s capital, Port-au-Prince. There is speculated to be over 100,000 people presumed dead and relief efforts from all over the world are flying into Haiti as we speak. You too can help.

There are many donate by text options circulating around the internet, but only a few of those options are currently available to Canadians.

Rogers and Fido customers can easily donate $5 by sending a text to the following:

'HAITI' to 45678 and your $5 donation goes to the Salvation Army.

‘HELP’ to 1291 and your $5 donation goes to Partners In Health in Haiti care of The ONEXONE Foundation where 100 percent of the donations will go to the Haiti Relief Fund.

Outside of customer donations Rogers Communications will also be donating $250,000 in funds and goods to Partners In Health.

"We at Rogers extend our deepest sympathies to everyone affected by the earthquake in Haiti, and to Canadians who are concerned for their loved ones back home," said Edward Rogers, Deputy Chairman, Rogers Communications. "In support of Partners in Health and other relief organizations in Haiti, we encourage our customers to aid relief efforts via our text-to-donate campaign."

Although not currently a donate-by-text option, if you also donate to World Vision Canada the Canadian government will match every dollar donated, (up to 50 million dollars) from now to February 12th, which is more bang for your buck.

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Build Your Own Nation

2010-01-08T14:00:00.000-08:00

mi⋅cro⋅na⋅tion –noun
[mahy-kroh-ney-shuhn]
1. a small, self-proclaimed entity that claims to be an independent sovereign state but is not acknowledged as such by any recognised sovereign state, or by any supranational organisation

I'm a bit of a loser when it comes to a certain video game called Civilization, I can play the game for hours at a time and tune out the rest of the world. It’s a great distraction.

I first discovered the game from reading the exploits of Cameron Colley, the main protagonist in Iain Banks’s novel Complicity.

Basically the game’s objective is to "...build an empire to stand the test of time". While playing it I always thought 'Hey, wouldn't it be great to do this for real?' Well it looks like now I can with the Futurist’s piece on the “DIY Nation”: How to Start Your Own Country.

I will leave you with a list of micronations from Wikipedia.

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Olympic Torch Relay comes to Ottawa

2009-12-12T08:11:00.000-08:00

re⋅lay –noun
[n. ree-ley]
1. a series of persons relieving one another or taking turns

Today the Olympic Torch officially arrives in Capital City and will be in the region until Monday, December 14th. There will be a bunch of festivities and dignitaries at City Hall this afternoon, including a performance by the Cameron Highlanders of Ottawa Pipes and Drums.

But the fun will really start this evening on Parliament Hill, with performances by Gregory Charles and Tom Cochrane. The arrival of the Olympic Torch will also launch the illumination ceremony of the 25th edition of Christmas Lights Across Canada.

Hot chocolate and BeaverTails® will be offered from 5 pm to 8 pm (while quantities last).

I’ll leave you with the only Tom Cochrane song that I know (care of David Letterman):

For more information on today’s events please see the following:

Ottawa City Hall
Parliament Hill.
2010 Olympic Torch Route

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Win A Trip To The 2010 Olympics From Chasing Distractions!

2009-12-08T16:26:00.000-08:00

con⋅test –noun
[kon-test]
1. a competition between rivals, as for a prize

Well not really from Chasing Distractions, but in my effort to get myself to the Olympic Games (as a volunteer), I decided to enter some contests. Being the nice guy that I am I thought I would share them with you too.

The following companies are giving away a free trip to the 2010 Olympic Games:

Good Luck to all that entered the contests. Don't forget I could still use some donations for my ‘Help Send Me To The Olympics’ fund.

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Moments

2009-12-04T12:11:00.000-08:00

mo⋅ment –noun
[moh-muhnt]
1. an indefinitely short period of time

Radiolab, an amazing podcast btw, recently did a five-part session on death, starting with their hour-long podcast called After Life. The whole series was inspired by David Eagleman's book Sum: Forty Tales from the Afterlives.

After the five part series, RadioLab presented a film on the celebration of life, and I thought I would share it with you:
Moments by Will Hoffman

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Chasing Distractions Turns 1!

2009-11-26T07:09:00.000-08:00

birth⋅day –noun
[burth-dey]
1. a day marking or commemorating the origin, founding, or beginning of something

Well it is official, I have been writing this blog for over a year now, off and on of course. The year began off on a bad note; I was suffering from a case of depression or some sort of quarter/mid-life crisis. I had just turned 30, broke up with my girlfriend, cut myself off from friends and family and suffered from a bad case of insomnia. It took awhile but I clawed myself back from the brink with the help of many distractions.

Now a year later I’m not sure much has changed. I’m still lonely, I’m still broke, but I have learned something from this all, and that is I get everything I ever want. And I mean everything. All I have to do is ask for it and the universe provides, from careers, to friends to girls to trips and prizes and all the highs and lows that come with it all. I have asked for all of it. The question then remains, why I am I still unhappy sometimes?

Originally I set out to write this post explaining that this blog had a good run, but I’m generally happy now and I have nothing to complain about anymore. Because really, that’s what blogging is all about right? Complaining?

I don't know, maybe I'll just stick around for a little longer.

If you’d like to give Chasing Distractions a birthday present, why not leave some comments, promote my Help Me Volunteer At The Olympics post, or simply donate to my ‘Get Me To The Olympics’ fund.

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Neked Sundays

2009-11-15T16:32:00.000-08:00

re⋅lax –verb
[ri-laks]
1. to reduce or stop work, effort, application, etc., esp. for the sake of rest or recreation

It’s been quite some time since I last updated this blog. With a busy work and school schedule I haven’t had much time to chase any new distractions. Since today is yet another Neked Sunday, a day of rest where not even clothes are mandatory, I finally have some free time.

On Saturday, November 21st Chasing Distractions will turn 1 years old. For this momentous occasion I am hoping to plan another Suit Up! I recently acquired a very stylish Ron Burgundy’esque suit from Value Village, it made its first appearance at a Mad Men party a few weeks ago and has been sitting in my closet ever since. CD’s birthday seems to be a good occasion to crack it out again. I will keep you posted.

Want to give Chasing Distractions a birthday present? Well donating to my ‘Help Send Me To The 2010 Olympic Games In Vancouver’ fund would be the best present ever.

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Balloon Boy – Hoax or Tragedy?

2009-10-15T14:28:00.000-07:00

hoax –noun
[hohks]
1. something intended to deceive or defraud

Earlier today I was made aware of a breaking news story via twitter with the hash tag balloonboy.

It appears that a 6-year old boy had climbed into a homemade weather balloon, where upon the tether was released and the balloon, with the supposed boy inside, rose into the air. For three hours Denver police, the National Guard and local media helicopters tried, to no avail, to rescue the boy. The balloon eventually landed safely without anyone on board:

As of this moment it is still not confirmed if the 6-year old boy, Falcon Heene, is safe, if the whole stunt was a hoax, or some horrible horrible tragedy. Hopefully everything turns out okay.

The Heene family, known for their chaotic parenting, were recently on television on ABC’s reality show Wife Swap. You can read more about the Heene family here, and check out Google News for updated information on the Balloon Boy.

Hoping he is safe, and without any sense of irony, I will leave you with the Heene Boys musical debut Not Pussified:

UPDATE: The boy was found, safe and sound, hiding in a box in the attic. For more information see the article in the National Post.

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World's Longest Dog Fence

2009-10-14T16:50:00.000-07:00

fence –noun
[fens]
1. a barrier enclosing or bordering a field, yard, etc., usually made of posts and wire or wood, used to prevent entrance, to confine, or to mark a boundary

The other day I was asked to create an interesting page revolved around dog fences. Well what better way then the to find some pictures of the World's Longest Dog Fence, Australia's Dingo Fence. Check it out, and if you are a Digg user, please give us a Digg.

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Creeping Out Sara – Tegan Quin Responds To NOFX Song

2009-10-08T13:42:00.000-07:00

in⋅ter⋅view –noun
1. a meeting or conversation in which a writer or reporter asks questions of one or more persons from whom material is sought for a story

Today, via Grant Lawrence at CBC Radio3, I got a chance to ask Tegan Quin how she felt about Fat Mike’s memoir entitled ‘Creeping Out Sara’ where he sings about meeting one of the Quin sisters at a German music festival. The song was released on the new NOFX album called Coaster. If you would like to hear her response, check it out here - (just fast-forward to the 25 minute mark).

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Californication – The Television Show

2009-10-07T16:37:00.000-07:00

hon⋅ey⋅pot –noun
[huhn-ee-pot]
1. a pot, as of glass or silver, for storing and serving honey

Craig Stephens' honey bear #2
The last few days I’ve been recouping from the 31st birthday celebrations that recently occurred in Montreal in la bell province. It’s not that I drank too much and am getting old – even though the latter is the case, also the former – but it is more to the fact that I caught a cold, or possibly the flu while I was away. The flu du cochon as I have been dubbing it. But as per usually I digress…

While I was wasting away in bed trying to overcome this sickness that still rides me like some demented jockey from hell, I received a text message from a good friend of mine. To paraphrase:

’Is it weird that David Duchovny in Californication makes me think of you?’

I, crazy with sickness, thought she was talking about Kalifornia and had to immediately watch the movie. I had no idea what she was talking about, ’I think it's his voice and phrasing, No wait... it's also his smirky, shruggy, mannerisms‘. As it would later turn out she was actually talking about the television show Californication, where coincidentally enough Duchovny plays a writer in both that TV show and the movie Kalifornia.

After sitting in my sick bed, missing a day of class and three days of work, I have to honestly say Californication is one hell of a television show. A new distraction to chase, and you all know how I love chasing distractions. I would have to recommend this show to anyone who likes smart, sexy, funny, hot television. Duchovny stars as Hank Moody, a drug and sex addicted writer juggling a 12-year-old daughter, an ex-wife whom he still cares for, and an insatiable appetite for beautiful women. Maybe my friend is right, that kinda sounds like me right?

In case you are wondering about the honeypot reference in this post, well I think the Urban Dictionary’s definition of honeypot would be more suited.

Speaking of honey, I learned something new today about our sweet treat. I went to the store to get some honey, ginger, lemon and tea to help battle this cold of mine and for the first time noticed that the bottle has the following warning: “Do not feed honey to children under 1 year of age”.

What the…?

But it's true, honey can actually cause botulism in infants.

On that note VALE! (just practising my Latin)

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Google On The Go

2009-10-06T03:08:00.000-07:00

Goo·gle -noun
[gōō'gəl]
1. A trademark used for an Internet search engine. This trademark often occurs in print as a verb, sometimes in lowercase

A few months ago I told you about a free 411 service from Google. This past weekend I learned that you could also use Google for free via text messaging. If you are like me and just have a regular old cell phone, i.e. not a Smartphone like an iPhone or Blackberry, you can still access Google to answer those pressing questions that come up in our day-to-day lives. Simply text your question to 46645 (GOOGL) and within seconds you will receive an answer. It’s a great way to get restaurant information, directions, local weather forecasts and so much more.

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Honest October

2009-10-01T02:26:00.000-07:00

hon⋅es⋅ty –noun
[on-uh-stee]
1. the quality or fact of being honest
2. truthfulness, sincerity, or frankness

Sober September came and went without any problems. People are still a little unsure why I bother with my 30-days of abstaining from alcohol, I like to look at it as a bit of a cleanse, a nice little break for my liver and a personal challenge. Life can get boring pretty quickly without ever challenging yourself, testing your mettle as it were.

So in that respect for the 31 days of October I will not tell a lie – from a little white lie to a flat out big lie – they are all completely off limits. In honour of this challenge I have officially dubbed the month of October Honest October.

Trying not to lie for 31 days can be challenging for anyone, but especially for me. Like many of us I carry my fair share of secrets about my personal life. My professional life however is entirely based on lies, as a writer that is essentially my job, to lie to you. In order to make this challenge work I had to set up a few guidelines for myself:

1) Anything to do with work is exempted from the challenge.
2) If I am asked a direct question that would require lying to save a secret, well I have the option to just not answer the question.
3) I have only told 2 or 3 friends, and now anyone who reads this blog, about my challenge. This is a personal challenge to be honest, not a month of confessions.

Sober September, Honest October, I wonder what I should do for November? Any suggestions?

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Help Send Me To The 2010 Olympic Games In Vancouver

2009-09-30T12:13:00.000-07:00

vol⋅un⋅teer –noun
[vol-uhn-teer]
1. a person who voluntarily offers himself for a service
2. a person who performs a service willingly and without pay

When I got home last night in my inbox was an offer for a volunteer position at the 2010 Olympics working with the Freestyle Snowboarding and Skiing team. I of course accepted the offer right away.

I will be working with the maintenance crew maintaining jumps, landings, moguls, etc. Essentially, I assume, I will be standing out in the snow all day with a shovel – although it doesn’t sound very glamorous I’m very much excited to be part of this historical event.

Canada has hosted the Olympics only twice before. The first time was in 1976 for the Summer Olympic Games in Montreal and the second time was at the 1988 Winter Games in Calgary. Both times Canadians did not win a Gold Medal in any event. It is the hope by many that the 2010 Games in Vancouver will be different, and I have a chance to be part of that.

I’ve got quite a bit of preparation to deal with before I go. Essentially I will be gone for a month and have to figure out accommodations while I am in Vancouver, perhaps subletting my apartment, finding a place to store my car, arranging a deal with work and booking a flight.

All of these things cost money, and as you may know I don’t have a lot of it. If any of you who read this blog want to help my plight, please spread the word and/or donate what you can.

On the right side ---> yup right over there - is a Donate Button, and anything will help – 50¢, $1, $10, whatever you can spare.

Thank you to everyone in advance.

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Learnin' Latin With Chasing Distractions

2009-09-29T14:46:00.000-07:00

blog -noun
[blŏg]
1. A weblog

I decided today that I would start up a new blog in hopes of helping me study. So if you are at all interested check out my new blog, Learnin' Latin.

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Barney’s Version – The Novel

2009-09-28T17:44:00.001-07:00

ur⋅ban leg⋅end –noun
[ur-buhn lej-uhnd]
1. a modern story of obscure origin and with little or no supporting evidence that spreads spontaneously in varying forms and often has elements of humour, moralizing, or horror
A few weeks ago I finished reading a humorous, yet somewhat sad tale called Barney’s Version, written by Canadian author Mordeecai Richler.

In a response to a book of memoirs, written by his sworn enemy Terry McIver, protagonist Barney Panofsky decides to give the true version of his life, as McIver’s memoirs paint Panofsky in a very bad light. Panofsky, an old man, recants his time spent in Paris as a young man, how he became a widow, divorced twice, the father of three children, a television producer in Quebec and the suspected murderer of his best friend. Throughout the novel the reoccurring themes are dealing with loss, with guilt, loneliness and the ability a person has to rewrite their memories as to make them more bearable.

The moment I read the last word I scribbled down this note:

Barney’s Version makes me flash forward on my own life, I don’t want to grow old alone

To date I continue my ever-lasting battle with loneliness and each day that goes by I get a little older and a little more certain that this funk is here to stay. In just six short days I will be the ripe old age of 31 and since I started writing this blog nothing has changed for me. I’m still alone. I’m still broke. And I’m still…

Next on the list Tropic of Cancer by Henry Miller.

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Sober Septembers

2009-09-24T08:45:00.000-07:00

tee⋅to⋅tal⋅er –noun
[tee-toht-ler, tee-toht-]
1. a person who abstains totally from intoxicating drink
For the 4th (or maybe 5th) year running I am off the drink for the month of September. With only a week to go I have never felt better – well in actuality I feel no different at all. The only difference can be found on Saturday and Sunday mornings. As a typical social weekend drinker (i.e. binger), my day-to-day routine never included the drink, other than those odd days where a spontaneous social event happens on a school night.

Speaking of school night, tomorrow is my first quiz in the Latin, wish me luck or Bonam Fortunam!

Back to the drink, or lack there of. One thing I have noticed, which is a bit shocking, happened last Sunday afternoon. Typically I spend Sundays doing absolutely nothing. Just lounging around the house, watching movies, reading etcetera. Quite often on these lazy Sundays, or neked Sundays as I have dubbed them, I would come down with a case of the emotions. These random crying, laughing emotional outbursts usually brought on by commercials – yes for some reason commercials make me tear up. I contributed these uncharacteristic emotional responses to the hangover and a body that was chemically out of whack. However, the same emotional outburst happened last Sunday when not a drop of alcohol had been involved. Either my body is still cleansing the last of the toxins or I am slowly going crazy (one-two-three-for-five-six-switch-crazy-going-slowly-am-I-six-five-four-three-two-one-switch…).

Many have asked why I do this – why take 30 days off each year? ”Is it for Ramadan?” they ask. No it is not, as I am not Muslim. But hey, if you really need a reason, then ya sure, it’s for Ramadan.

In short Sober Septembers are great way to transition from a Soused Up Summer to an Alcoholic Autumn. So tell all your friends, maybe together we can make this a nonreligious/spiritual annual fast.

Only one week left. Man, am I ever thirsty.

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Gray Days Make Me Feel Blue

2009-09-16T15:43:00.000-07:00

im⋅pul⋅sive –adjective
[im-puhl-siv]
1. actuated or swayed by emotional or involuntary impulses
These overcast gray days always make me feel blue. I can’t help but look at my life on these days and feel sorry for myself. I guess I need more vitamin D.

Speaking of gray, the other day I found not one, but three gray hairs. It’s a sad state of affairs when you realize you are getting old and there is nothing you can do about it…

It is these type of days I mourn for my wasted life – being broke, lonely, and growing older by the minute I decided to give online dating one more shot.

This time things went well. Maybe it was luck of the draw, my slimmed down profile, or new profile picture, who knows, but I received many more contacts than I did before, from people that actually seemed pretty decent too.

I started a 2-week long correspondence via email with one of the people I connected with and a few days ago we met up for a date. In my mind it went well. Great conversation and laughs, I felt I was just charming enough and that there was some chemistry between us, but in the end I was wrong.

Maybe I blew the ending by not sealing the deal with a goodnight kiss, I didn’t want to be presumptuous, I am a gentleman after all. Or it could have been the text messages I sent not 10 minutes after the date stating what a good time I had. It might also have had something to do with me adding her to Facebook the next day, (she never did accept my friend request) whatever it was I never heard from her again.

What can I say, I’m impulsive, and in her I saw everything I wanted in a relationship. Came on too strong, or just not right for the dating world?

Whatever it is I better figure it out soon because I’m getting tired of doing everything alone and pretending to myself that everything is going to be okay. It’s exhausting.

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Me Talk Latin One Day – The Education

2009-09-11T12:53:00.000-07:00

Lat⋅in –noun
[lat-n]
1. an Italic language spoken in ancient Rome, fixed in the 2nd or 1st century b.c., and established as the official language of the Roman Empire.
As mentioned in my review of David Sedaris's book of memoirs, Me Talk Pretty One Day, I feel inadequate about being a unilingual person in a bilingual city.

My hope was to brush up on my French skills, but I began to realize something - it’s difficult to understand verbs, nouns, pronouns, adjectives, adverbs, prepositions, conjunctions and interjections in another language when, quite frankly, you don’t really have a grasp of what they are all about in your own language.

So rather than go back to grade one and start English all over again, I decided I would take a different approach. I figured that since many languages have Latin roots, that maybe if I learned Latin first it would not only help me to understand English better, but any other Latin based language I choose to learn there after, such as French and Spanish.

That is the plan anyway.

Today was my first day at the local University learning Classical Latin basic grammar and vocabulary skills and I can already tell I am in for a rough ride.

Wish me luck – or as the Romans may have said ‘votum mihi fortuna’.

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Coming Through Slaughter – The Novel

2009-09-02T15:53:00.000-07:00

jazz –noun
[jaz]
1. music originating in New Orleans around the beginning of the 20th century and subsequently developing through various increasingly complex styles, generally marked by intricate, propulsive rhythms, polyphonic ensemble playing, improvisatory, virtuosic solos, melodic freedom, and a harmonic idiom ranging from simple diatonicism through chromaticism to atonality.
I recently finished Coming Through Slaughter by Canadian author Michael Ondaatje. At only 156 pages it was a bit of a tough read. The novel is a fictional story about a real life New Orleans jazz musician named Buddy Bolden. Set in 1907 the book is written like jazz is played – all over the place – so at times it was a bit hard to follow. Overall I found it a thoroughly enjoyable read and would recommend it to anyone, and if you are a fan of jazz music, all the better.

Next on the list is Barney's Version by Mordecai Richler.

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Play and Win On A Rainy Saturday Afternoon

2009-08-29T12:47:00.000-07:00

game –noun
[geym]
1. a competitive activity involving skill, chance, or endurance on the part of two or more persons who play according to a set of rules, usually for their own amusement or for that of spectators
It’s a rainy Saturday afternoon here in Capital City, staying inside mourning the loss of Summer I’m beginning to feel a little bit bored and a little bit anxious with my financial situation. As you may know, when boredom and anxiety hits I turn to the internet to find some distractions.

Today I stumbled across a site called SkillAddiction.com. This site hosts free online games that you can Play and Win prizes ranging from as little as $5 to upwards of $1,000. The games vary from strategy, action and arcade games to puzzles and card games. If you become a member you can join up to 5 different types of tournaments, including head to head, group tournaments, and progressive jackpot tournaments. The site may be relatively new but they already boast thousands of members and over 50,000 tournaments running daily. With over $10,000 already won by players this could be a fun way to try to pay down my enormous debt.

The only shortcoming I have found with the site so far is the time it takes to actually register. After stumbling across SkillAddiction.com I excitedly sign-up for an account, after close to 30 minutes was still waiting for my verification email. Although it does take some time, it is well worth the wait, so try to be patient, you will thank me for it.

If you end signing up for an account leave your user name in the comments section and I’ll challenge you one of these days. I have to warn you, I got some skills.

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The Folly With Facebook

2009-08-27T14:45:00.000-07:00

ad⋅dic⋅tion –noun
[uh-dik-shuhn]
1. the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma
Other than the most notable problems, those concerning privacy issues especially in Canada, Facebook has become to be known as the root of all evil. There are stories of people being fired, not landing a job, students getting expelled from school, and relationships ending in ruin all because of Facebook.

Before social networking websites the only times these things could happen is if someone close to you, whether it be your co-workers, your references, your teachers of your friends and family dropped the ball and put your character in a bad light. Now anyone can tag you in an embarrassing photo, video or note for the world to see.

Granted there are steps you can take to protect yourself, and many of the potential problems can be avoided if you use social networking responsibly. However this is a relatively new technology and the problems have never had to be dealt with before. Many people will require some education on how to responsibly use social networking. Especially the younger people, it’s scary for me to think that they will be the first generation where their entire life is documented digitally, never to be permanently erased.

Thankfully for myself, my highschool years are comprised of a few memories in people’s heads and a couple of pictures, most of which have been lost or destroyed.

For my own experience with Facebook I found it had become an obsession. Working from home, alone, I have been cut off from any type of social interaction. Facebook filled that void. But when my habit became checking the News Page every 20 minutes I knew I was addicted. I kicked the habit cold turkey in the winter of 2008. And like any addiction I actually went through withdrawal.

After a few months of being Facebook free I went back to that monkey and placed him on my back. It’s been 2 months now, sensibly using. I think this time I might have it beat.

Hmm, I wonder if anyone has written anything new on my Wall…

For more reading on the Folly of Facebook check out the top 10 reasons why Facebook is Evil.

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The Trouble With Twitter

2009-08-19T07:21:00.000-07:00

lone⋅ly –adjective
[lohn-lee]
1. affected with, characterized by, or causing a depressing feeling of being alone; lonesome.

I was encouraged by my boss to open a Twitter account last year. If you don’t know what Twitter is let me explain.

Twitter is essentially a micro-blogging social network that allows you to post updates of only 140 characters. My boss thought by having a Twitter account it would help with marketing for our clients. Potential partners would easily be able to confirm I am a real person and not some link spammer from India.

Being a regular user of Facebook, Twitter was easy to get the hang of. Essentially your ‘tweets’ are the same as your Facebook status updates.

However the major difference I found between Facebook and Twitter is this – on Facebook my contacts are actual people I know, friends, old highschool pals, acquaintances and even previous one-night stands. On Twitter however my contacts are complete strangers, excluding of course the few people I actually know, like MwiStar from The African Accent.

At first I would update my Twitter account with all the nonsense stuff I was doing in the day along with posting links to some of my marketing contacts. That was until I watched this episode of SuperNews!Now I just can’t do it anymore. I feel ridiculous, and have to laugh at some of my contacts personal updates. I keep thinking ‘None of you have any friends!’.

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The Problem With Plenty Of Fish

2009-08-18T11:53:00.000-07:00

damaged goods –noun
[dam-ij-d goo-ds]
1. a person who is impaired, corrupted, or defiled

A few months ago at a dinner party the topic of Internet dating came up, specifically two sites Plenty of Fish, a free dating site apparently run by one guy out of his Vancouver apartment, and a paid site called eHarmony.ca, developed by Dr. Neil Clark Warren. Two of my friends were trying out both of the sites, without any success. The complaint with eHarmoy.ca, besides the monthly fee, was the amount of time it took to actually get a chance to speak with someone. With Plenty of Fish, although it was free, the quality of potential mates was not really there. Although these two friends were not happy with the results, they kept their accounts going for well over 2 months.

I have always been a big proponent against Internet dating. When asked why, my only real argument was that it was too easy. Finding someone should not be like going through a catalogue and ordering merchandise. There is no thrill, no butterflies, and no spark. These were just assumptions on my part, so ever being curious and constantly Chasing Distractions, I decided to test out the world of online dating.

Being in the perpetual state of 'brokeness' I opted for the free dating site and created a profile on Plenty of Fish. Within the first few days I noticed something wrong with the potential mates on the site. No one seemed to respond to any of my emails. After changing tactics and slimming down my original contact I started to receive responses. After building what I assumed was an appropriate time on back and forth communication I attempted to plan ‘dates’, a time a place to meet someone for a drink or a coffee. It was at this point where everyone backed off. Excuses were made, or strange requests such as they would only agree to a date if I could lend them money first.
It may be hard to get the sense of someones personality through email and instant messages, but one thing that does stick out is when people are not right in some way. Now I know at this point if you have been reading my blog that last statement is ‘like the pot calling the kettle black’, but it is true. In my opinion, Plenty of Fish seems to deal in damaged goods.
Or it could just be that I am the one that is damaged goods... nah, that can't be right.
Maybe I should finally take down this ‘motivational' poster my ex-girlfriend gave me:

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The 7-Minute Morning Workout

2009-08-07T06:25:00.000-07:00

ex⋅er⋅cise –noun
[ek-ser-sahyz]
1. bodily or mental exertion, esp. for the sake of training or improvement of health

A friend of mine shared this 7-minute workout with me the other day. It may not seem like a big deal, 7-minutes is not a long time, but after three days of doing this I can already feel it. And let me tell you these 7-minutes are hard, really hard.

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The Twelve Days Of Bluesfest

2009-07-20T11:54:00.000-07:00

per⋅fect at⋅tend⋅ance –noun
[per-fekt uh-ten-duhns]
1. the act of attending an event without missing a day
The Cisco Ottawa Bluesfest was twelve days long this year, and being a trooper I managed to go every single day, no matter how much it hurt me. I would love to do a review of every single show I saw, but after seeing over 80 artists I think this post would take me forever. So this is going to be less of a review and more of a list of bands I saw. Please feel free to read them in the tune of ‘The Twelve Days of Christmas’:

On the first day of Bluesfest I went to go see:
Amanda Rheaume, Van der Graaf Generator, Amos the Transparent, Monkey Junk, The Black Keys, Sergent Garcia

On the second day of Bluesfest I went to go see:
Brothers Chaffey, Holy Fuck, Iron & Wine, Metric, Oumou Sangare, Ben Harper, The Road Hammers, Elliot Brood

On the third day of Bluesfest I went to go see:
The Stills, Okkervil River, Sam Roberts, Jackson Browne, The Dodos, Steve Earle, DeVotchka, King Sunny Ade & His African Beats, Arrested Development, Peter Voith Trio

On the fourth day of Bluesfest I went to go see:
Jill Barber, Hey Rosetta!, John Vanderslice, Rachael Yamagata, Punch Brothers, Curumin, Matisyahu, FEMI KUTI, Jesse Cook

On the fifth day of Bluesfest I went to go see:
Girl Talk, Land of Talk, King Khan & BBQ Show, Jenn Grant, Neko Case, Thunderheeist, Joe Cokcer, Mother Mother, Kid Koala

After my fifth day of Bluesfest Grant Lawrence of CBC Radio3, who had found me on Facebook to ask if I would do a live fan review of the festival, tracked me down. Hungover, and maybe even still a little drunk I agreed. If you ended up missing my live radio debut you can still give a listen to it. Look for the entry that says 'Live on CBC Radio 3: All Request with Wintersleep!' and hit the Play button for Ottawa Blues Fest Fan Review (Crozon Ottawa)

On the sixth day of Bluesfest I went to go see:
Gym Class Heroes, Stone Temple Pilots, Basia Bulat, Great Lake Swimmers

On the seventh day of Bluesfest I went to go see:
The Zombies, Ice Cube, The Yardbirds, Xavier Rudd, Toots & the Maytals

On the eighth day of Bluesfest I went to go see:
The Arkells, Silent Disco, The National, KISS, Beast, Skydiggers, K'NAAN

On the ninth day of Bluesfest I went to go see:
Shout Out Out Out, Busta Rhymes, Mick Taylor, Les Claypool

On the tenth day of Bluesfest I went to go see:
Cake, Blue Rodeo, Paolo Nutini, Dave Mason, Clem Snide

On the eleventh day of Bluesfest I went to go see:
Poorfolk, Woodhands, Otis Taylor, Ludacris, Drive-By Truckers, Black Mountain, Lynyrd Skynyrd, The Low Anthem, Louisiana Red, Rhythm Council, David Lindley, The Deep Dark Woods, That 1 Guy

On the twelfth day of Bluesfest I went to go see:
Deer Tick, Handsome Furs, C.R. Avery with the Sojourne's, The Dead Weather, The Yeah Yeah Yeahs

I ended up winning the Perfect Attendance Award. I think it was the first time ever in my life that I have had perfect attendance. My Mom would be so proud.

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Free 411 From Google

2009-07-18T09:09:00.001-07:00

in⋅for⋅ma⋅tion –noun
[in-fer-mey-shuhn]
1. knowledge communicated or received concerning a particular fact or circumstance
1-800-GOOG-411
(1-800-466-4411)

Google has recently launched a new 411 service. The best part is it is free, and you know how I like free stuff. Check out this video for a little more information. I’ve already programmed the number into my cell phone... that should save me a couple bucks a month. Thanks Google!

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United (Airlines) Breaks Guitars

2009-07-08T13:08:00.000-07:00

jus⋅tice –noun
[juhs-tis]
1. the quality of being just; righteousness, equitableness, or moral rightness

While waiting on the tarmac in a United Airlines jet, Halifax musician, Dave Carroll looked out the window and to his horror saw the baggage handlers actually throwing his guitar around. Upon arriving in the city, where he was to perform, he found that the thrown guitar was actually broken.

After months of frustration trying to get compensation from United Airlines he eventually got a final "No!" Being a singer-songwriter, Dave Carroll did what he does best - he wrote a song and made a video.

I wonder how long United Airlines will hold out before they compensate him. My guess is by the end of the week Dave will be in possession of a new guitar and maybe even some travel vouchers.

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NxNE – Day 5

2009-06-21T10:36:00.000-07:00

de⋅feat –verb
[di-feet]
1. to eliminate or deprive of something expected
The Boat cruise took a lot out of me, so after getting up and eating some garbage food from McDonalds, I decided to blow off the last day of NxNE and make the long drive back to Capital City. Three out of Five is not bad, right?

We'll see if I can do any better on my home turf when the 12 days of Bluesfest comes along in July. Wish me luck.

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NxNE – Day 4

2009-06-20T13:20:00.000-07:00

missed out –verb
[mis]
1. to fail to take advantage of
I awoke feeling a little rough so decided to take advantage of the late checkout and sleep in. Unfortunately I slept in too long and wasn’t able to use the pool, sauna, fitness centre or waters slide… not that I would really have done all that, but the sauna might have helped the hangover a bit.

After checking out I decided to head back to my cousin’s apartment for a little more rest. I passed The Details on my way to the subway station and they invited me to the Six Shooter BBQ. I asked them to call me once they confirmed I was able to get in for sure because the BBQ was all the way down by the beaches and I didn’t want to go to just be turned away. Plus it was raining. And did I mention I was hung over? In the end I never ended up going. I needed to rest up for the Boat Cruise.

Since I was in town I got in contact with The African Accent and tried to coax him out. He declined the night before, but was a maybe for the festivities for the Boat Cruise, where there was to be DJ’s, bands and as the fuzzy picture shows, nude painted models. He never showed and definitely missed out.

After the boat cruise I was planning on going to The Horseshoe to thank Grant Lawrence personally for the passes, but the cruise was so good hic I never made it.

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NxNE – Day 3

2009-06-19T09:51:00.000-07:00

fate –noun
[feyt]
1. the universal principle or ultimate agency by which the order of things is presumably prescribed
The day started off slow, I had a bit of writing to catch up on so I didn't end up going out until the late afternoon. I decided I was going to give my cousin and his wife a break and rented a room downtown at the Delta Chelsea. They set me up on the 15th floor with a view of Yonge Street. I could almost make out the stage set up at Yonge Dundas Square, so after I settled in I strolled down to catch Black Hat Brigade’s set.

After some dinner and a shower I was ready to see a show that I was really looking forward to, Coeur de Pirate. Apparently I wasn’t the only one as I arrived at the Dakota Tavern the line-up was already around the block. The doorman told me that they were overcapacity and it was now a case of one-in-one-out. Later I would find that this was not true and in fact it was another case of the industry guest list ruining it for the rest of the fans. In fact I have a credible source that says not only was the Dakota way below capacity, but Coeur de Pirate’s manager had to come out and ask why they were not letting anyone in. The answer – industry guest list first.

Feeling dejected, again, for having my beginning of the night ruined by NxNE’s industry guest list policy I was at a loss of where to go next. I almost planned to work my way up to College street to see some of the 9pm concerts before making my way back to Yonge Dundas Square for the Wintersleep show, but at last minute decided to cross the street to The Painted Lady to enjoy a pint of Guinness and listen a few minutes of a PEI band by the name of Boxer The Horse. That decision proved fateful as the rest of the night could have been quite different if I decided to walk up to College Street.

Not wanting to miss any of the Wintersleep show I left The Painted Lady early and walked down Dundas Street in search of a streetcar that would take me to Yonge Dundas Square. I ran into a couple asking a man about the very streetcar I was looking for. I asked if they wanted to just split a cab, but the girl said she was really looking forward to experiencing a streetcar for the first time. As it turns out our NxNE experience was very similar. The girl, originally from Winnipeg, who I am dubbing Superfan Jenny, arrived from Ottawa on Wednesday, where she had been visiting her sister. We both had tried to get into the Coeur de Pirate show but were turned away and ended up going to The Painted Lady for a pint of Guinness. Amused by our coincidences I mentioned that I was staying at the Delta Chelsea, and of course they were as well. I said they had me on the 15th floor, they were on the 14th floor. It turned out that her boyfriend Jon is the front man for a band called The Details and they were performing at NxNE. I missed their show on Thursday by a matter of minutes when after Papa Groove I decided to take in a documentary, which I also missed. Furthermore, every show the night before we were all at the same venue, probably even standing right near each other.

We ended up taking in the Wintersleep show together and bought each other rounds of Mill Street Organic Drafts from the beer tent. Although Wintersleep put on a great show it paled in comparison of the new friendship we were forming. I met the rest of the band members from The Details after the show and we all headed down to the Drake Hotel to take in Halifax’s Ruby Jean and the Thoughtful Bees. Afterwards the band and Superfan Jenny called it a night and we planned to meet up the next day. I would see the band one more time in the morning, where they invited me to a party, which in the end I declined.

After I left the Drake Hotel I ended up at The Reverb and attempted to dance the night away to the sounds of the Parallels, 84.85 and Kenny Glasgow, but in the end the drink was too much for me and I headed back to my hotel room to pass out, alone, but happy for the experiences I had.

And that, Dear Reader, was my 3rd, and what would be my last, night at the North by Northeast festival in Toronto.

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NxNE – Day 2

2009-06-18T14:06:00.000-07:00

ac⋅quaint –verb
[uh-kweynt]
1. to make more or less familiar, aware, or conversant
2. to bring into social contact; introduce

My cousin decided to blow off work and join me for a day at NxNE. I haven’t seen him in awhile and we were never really that close so it was a good chance to get to know him better.

We started the day out at the Hyatt Regency with Rah Rah, a pretty good band from Saskatchewan. Followed by Papa Groove, a very unique band from Montreal. During the Papa Groove show my cousin leaned over to me and said “They look like a bunch of tour buses crashed and these guys are the survivors.” And he is right. The lead singer resembles Lenny Cravitz, the bass player is a white guy with long dreadlocks sporting a cowboy hat, there was a 5-piece brass section, two guys on keyboards dressed as pimps, three drummers and I think one or two other guys on guitars. You really have to see it to believe it.

We rushed over to the National Film Board to check out a documentary but, still feeling the pints from the previous night, I misread the schedule. The documentary was being screened at the Hyatt Regency – the very place we just left. I begged off doing anything else for the rest of that afternoon and took a much-needed nap.

Feeling refreshed, we headed back out on the town. Our first stop was Lee’s Palace for the Outlaws and Gunslingers show. I ran into Amanda Putz and listened to The Swallows and a compilation of Jim Cuddy, Royal Wood and Oh Susanna. The line-up was a little too country for me so we jumped the streetcar to Queen St. West and just made it in time for The Burning Hell show at the Legendary Horseshoe Tavern, followed by The United Steelworkers of Montreal. Apparently the Horseshoe does not follow the maximum capacity requirements, so by the end of the Steelworkers show the place was jam-packed. Feeling slightly claustrophobic we left and ended the night off at the El Mocambo with You Say Party! We Say Die!, and die I did. Exhausted, I made it an early night and went back to my cousin’s place to rest up for the weekend.

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NxNE – Day 1

2009-06-17T12:54:00.000-07:00

let⋅down –noun
[let-doun]
1. disillusionment, discouragement, or disappointment

On Tuesday night the great people at CBC Radio3 hooked me up with two passes to the North by Northeast music festival in Toronto. So Wednesday morning I woke up early, jumped in my car and made the 500 or so kilometre drive to The Big Smoke.

The first night was a bit of a bust; the rain began just as I got in line for the Arts & Crafts show at The Courthouse, and to add insult to injury they were only letting in people on the industry guest list. After standing in the rain for 2 hours, dejected, I decided to leave and hailed a cab to The Drake Hotel. A cool pint of Guinness and the sounds of The D’Urbervilles, lioness and Woodhands made up for the disappointment from the beginning of the night.

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UPDATE: CBC Radio3 Goes 100% Canadian - Sorta

2009-06-12T13:33:00.000-07:00

hy⋅poc⋅ri⋅sy –noun
[hi-pok-ruh-see]
1. a pretense of having some desirable or publicly approved attitude
Today Steve Pratt, Music Director at CBC Radio3, anounced on the Radio3 Blog that they would stick with the current mix of the web radio station, which is 100% Canadian. Although this is good news, the people spoke and the powers that be listened, there is a few caveats when it comes to 100% Canadian. I'll let Steve explain further:

Why did we choose to only include Canadian music and artists in our rotation?
It's a long list, but here are three big reasons:
To many of you, CBC Radio 3 is synonymous with all-Canadian independent music already.

We believe this music format makes a huge impact for Canadian musicians.

In a world of musical offerings, 100% Canadian is distinct.
One tiny caveat:

We're celebrating, but we're not bigots.

A quick note to those among you who will call for our heads if there's even a shred of content that can't be deemed ‘100% Canadian:' while we will play 100% Canadian music in rotation day in, day out, we will also continue to reserve the right to play what some may consider 'non-Canadian' music when we feel it makes sense. For example we might:
Play bands that feature Canadians prominently, even though they don't technically qualify as ‘official Canadian Content,' like the new Buck 65 collaborative project, Bike For Three.

Play a cover! If a Canadian artist is covered or remixed by a non-Canadian artist and people are talking about it, we will feel very comfortable playing that song for you once or twice for context, as we recently did in our Remix Special Podcast.

Broadcast a non-Canadian band at a live event because they're on the same bill as several amazing Canadian acts, as we did two years ago at Pop Montreal.

Make an occasional exception: Our recent CBC Radio 3 Session with Neko Case, who is American, but is widely considered an ‘honourary Canadian.

'Embrace an artist's choice, if a guest host or artist wants to play a favourite track or talk about influences.
Basically, our rule of thumb will be this: if it feels Canadian and if audiences consider it a relevant and essential part of the celebration, enjoyment, and discussion of Canadian music and culture, we're gonna play it. As Sloan put it, "if it feels good, do it." That's what 100% Canadian means to us.

So in other words CBC Radio3 Goes 100% Canadian - Sorta.

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Free Events In Ottawa This June

2009-06-12T02:04:00.000-07:00

fru⋅gal –adjective
[froo-guhl]
1. economical in use or expenditure; prudently saving or sparing; not wasteful
2. entailing little expense; requiring few resources; meager
Yesterday I brought my car in for it’s semi-annual inspection and an oil change. Well the total tab ended up costing me close to $600. With the months entertainment budget now blown I decided to look for some free things to do in Capital City for the month of June.

June 12th (to 14th)
Westfest
This year you can look forward to the best in Canadian and Local Ottawa multidisciplinary arts, including music, performance art, literature, spoken word, media art, visual art, dance, theatre, and live animation. Westfest is located on Richmond Road, between Golden Avenue and Island Park Drive. Tonight’s musical acts include:
Arctic 7:00 - 7:45 PM
Jenn Grant 8:00 - 9:00 PM
Danny Michel 9:30 - 11:00 PM

Check out Danny Michel’s video for Feather, Fur and Fin:

June 13th
Indonesian Festival 2009
Embassy of Indonesia will be presenting “Indonesian Festival 2009”. There will be a bazaar (furniture, handycraft and traditional food), kid’s activities, traditional cultural performance and workshop, and trade/tourism promotion for the whole family. This event will be held at the Embassy’s premises at 55 Parkdale Ave from 11:00am-4:00pm.

June 16th
Bloomsday In Ottawa
National Irish Canadian Cultural Center is proud to announce the’ Inaugural Celebration’ of ‘James Joyce Bloomsday ‘ to be held at St. Brigid’s Cultural Center, 310 St. Patrick Street. Readers, Musicians and Dancers from the Irish Community, will combine to present Drama, Music and Irish Dance in a mosaic of the Performing Arts, reflecting every day life in Dublin around 1904, the year of ‘Ulysses’ debut. Doors will be open at 6:30 pm and the event will conclude at 10:30pm with the Cash Bar closing 11pm. Information: 613-225-1830

June 17th
Mens' Health: Golfing Injuries
Free seminar on Men’s health: Golfing injuries, presented by Joel Villenueve, Naturopathic Doctor, at Rainbow Foods 1487 Richmond Rd. 630-7:30pm.
Information: 613-726-9200

June 19th
Arts Cafe concert, Austrian Embassy
Love, Rage and Altered States: The Mind in Austrian Music Concert by Justin KOLB (piano) and François MAI (text) with music by Beethoven, Mozart, Schubert and Robert Starer. How do emotions affect the music of great composers? In this duo performance virtuoso pianist Justin Kolb and psychiatrist-author François Mai will address this question and highlight how Beethoven, Mozart, Schubert and others expressed specific feelings in their music. Sheraton Hotel, 150 Albert St. 7pm

June 24th
Seasonal Allergies Seminar
Free seminar on Seasonal Allergies, presented by Mark Orbay, Naturopathic Doctor, at Rainbow Foods 1487 Richmond Rd. 630-7:30pm.
Information: 613-726-9200

June 25th
A Free Home Buyers Seminar
Learn how to avoid common pitfalls when buying a home. Speak to the professionals. There will be a Lawyer, Home Inspector, Mortgage broker, and Real Estate Agent there to answer all your Real Estate questions. There will be light refreshments, discounts and The seminar will be held at the Royal LePage Gale Real Estate office Located at 591 March Road, Kanata from 6:45pm – 8:00pm
Information: 613-763-0772

June 25th (to July 26th)
OSA’s 2009 Graduating Class Exhibition
A showcase of emerging artists in the Ottawa region. Work will be on display from June 25 to July 26, 2009 at the OSA Gallery, 35 George St., 5pm-8pm.

June 25th (to July 1st)
Canada Day Festival
The Canada Day Festival has talented performers, unique entertainment and fun for the whole family all weekend until the finale on July 1st 2009 Canada Day! Check out the events in Andrew Haydon Park in the city's west-end to savor foods for every palette and enjoy the colourful entertainment and activities offered by a variety of stellar performers. There's something for everyone - midway rides and games, a mini-circus, a petting zoo, a car show, a water park, face painting, live DJ, band shell entertainment, cultural events and a Canada Day fireworks display.

June 27th (to July 2nd)
Unisong Choir Festival
Over the Canada Day weekend, ensembles of over 400 choristers from across Canada will present four days of free concerts throughout the Capital.

Budget blown and all, I am still hoping to make it to Toronto next weekend for NxNE - so wish me luck.

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CBC Radio3 – 100% Canadian vs 85% Canadian

2009-06-08T14:52:00.000-07:00

poll –noun
[pohl]
1.a sampling or collection of opinions on a subject, taken from either a selected or a random group of persons, as for the purpose of analysis

Due to the recent budget cuts in the media, the national broadcaster CBC has had to make hard decisions. Many programs have been reorganized, and some have been cut all together.

On the radio side of things, from my understanding anyway, the budget for recording live shows has now been amalgamated between CBC Radio3 and CBC Radio2. Furthermore the CBC Radio3 web radio station, which boasts 100% Canadian content, is now facing a change in their programming.

Radio3 currently runs two separate stations, one for the web and the second on Sirius radio. Again due to budget cuts CBC will merge the two stations into one on Monday, June 15th. The web station currently features a 100% Canadian mix, whereas the satellite feed is an 85% Canadian and 15% international mix. The question is which format do they go with?

Music Director Steve Pratt breaks down the respective arguments as follows:

For keeping the Sirius mix:
it will help draw in a bigger audience that will then be introduced to new Canadian acts

we can showcase the best of international music side-by-side with the best from Canada and show how we stack up

it better reflects what our audience might actually be listening to.
For keeping the Web Radio mix:
our 'brand' is very, very clear (100% Canadian)

every song works with full interactivity on the website (international artists do not have pages on New Music Canada, would not be available for inclusion in personal playlists, etc).

web radio supporters believe that as a public broadcaster, we should be playing as much Canadian music as possible.
In pure social media form, Radio3 included their listeners in the decision making process with a web poll which closed today at 5pm EST. While I was writing this post the results were just announced:

77% NO – Do not include international music into the mix
23% YES – Include international into the mix

Now it’s off to the powers that be to make their final decision. Either way, the people have spoken so let’s see if they will be heard.

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The Math Behind Getting Ahead

2009-06-04T19:01:00.000-07:00

e⋅qua⋅tion –noun
[i-kwey-zhuhn,-shuhn]
1. the act of equating or making equal

When it comes to emails I normally I don’t like getting forwards. The vast majority of them come from family members and usually I just delete them. Every once in awhile a good one sneaks through, so I thought I would share this one that I recently received from my Uncle:

What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

and

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5
= 96%

But ,
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7
= 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty, that while Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the Bullshit and Ass kissing that will put you over the top.

I thought I would do a couple of my own:

S-E-X
19+5+24
= 48%

L-O-V-E
12+15+22+5
= 54%

R-E-L-A-T-I-O-N-S-H-I-P
18+5+12+1+20+9+15+14+19+8+9+17
= 147%

As you can see it takes a considerable amount of effort to be in a relationship. Basically you have to give it your all and then some to keep it going, a total of 147% everyday. On the other side it’s relatively easy to fall in or make someone fall in love with you, it only takes 54% effort on your part. The easiest of all is to have sex. It only takes 48% effort to ‘get some’; I clearly have been trying way too hard.

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The Big Boy Bed

2009-06-01T15:51:00.000-07:00

sin⋅gle bed –noun
[sing-guhl bed]
1. a bed for one occupant

Since I was about 19 years old I have been rocking the single bed – in fact it is the same bed I had in college – my grandparents bought it for me in my second year when I moved into an apartment. For 11 years I’ve slept on this narrow bed, which as of late has grown uncomfortable with its springs that have now become sprung. Yet, financial issues aside, I can’t bring myself to upgrade just yet. It’s not a form of nostalgic attachment to some lost love, or a gift from my grandparents. It just seems to suit me, single bed, single me.

I’ve taken quite the ribbing from many people when they find out that I still have a single bed. Friends usually shake their head and tell me it’s time for me to buy a ‘Big Boy Bed’ or ask “How can you even bring a girl home?” or some variation of that question. Although sleeping can sometimes be difficult, I like the closeness my single bed affords, and the limited space has also been know to inspire creativity wink-wink, nudge-nudge.

Besides, I take solace in knowing that there was probably only one other guy in the whole world that didn't mind having a single bed:

”I wanna love you every day and every night:
We'll be together with a roof right over our heads;
We'll share the shelter of my single bed; “

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Foot In Mouth Disease

2009-05-29T08:30:00.000-07:00

blun⋅der –verb
[bluhn-der]
1. to make a gross or stupid mistake, esp. through carelessness or mental confusion

"You can't even open your mouth without putting your foot in it."
I recently went on a first date – it was my first first date in a very long time, so I was a little out of practice. My last few relationships I completely bypassed the uncomfortable dating portion and got right to the fun stuff, which could very well have been my downfall. Here are four samples of the conversation on my recent date:

Me: “So, are you originally from Capital City? Do you have family here?”
Her: “Yes I am, in fact that is why I moved back, my Dad is very sick…”
Me: “Oh…?”
Her: “Yeah he has cancer and is on chemo right now.”
Me (thinking): ‘Looks like I won’t go out for that smoke’

Me: “Do you have any siblings?”
Her: “Yeah, well I did. I had a younger brother who died a few years ago,”
Me: “I’m sorry…”

Me (speaking about driving long distances): “It was such a long drive, and I was exhausted. I got to the point where I was like hallucinating and struggling to stay awake. So I was going to get a motel for the night and realized I was only 50km from Capital City, so I kept going.”
Her: “I’m the same way on long drives, so I try to break them up so it doesn’t happen to me. I should know better you know, after all my brother did die in a car accident.”
Me (thinking): ‘Of course he did.’

Me (speaking about getting older): “I found my 30th birthday was really hard to except. I was at my Nana’s and when they brought the cake out with that flaming 3-0 on it I thought ‘If I blow these out it makes it real’.”
Her: “I didn’t find 30 that bad. 25 was the big one for me.”
Me: “Really?”
Her: “Yeah, 25 was definitely the hardest one.”
Me: “That’s funny, a friend of mine always reminds me that when I was younger I used to say by the time you’re 25 you are pretty much dead anyway.”
Her: “Yeah, my brother died when he was 24.”
Me (thinking): ‘Of course he did, of course he did’

I guess first dates are like interviews. The more you have, the better you get at them. I’ll just have to see a doctor about this case of Foot In Mouth Disease I have.

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Life Can Sometimes Be Exhausting

2009-05-28T17:39:00.000-07:00

mel⋅an⋅chol⋅y –noun
[mel-uhn-kol-ee]
1. a gloomy state of mind, esp. when habitual or prolonged; depression
2. sober thoughtfulness; pensiveness

Like many stories in my life, today’s reflection involves a girl; well in fact it is a build up of a series of events, all of which involve a girl. Without getting into all of the events in this post, as I hope to share the stories at a later date, today I have discovered one thing about myself – I love to be loved.

I am beginning to think that the many years I have spent alone have not been good for me. As David Leavitt writes in his story ‘Chips is Here’ from his collections of short stories ‘A Place I’ve Never Been’ his character remarks, “I am a pathetic and desperate man”.

I like the idea of someone liking me, and without being able to control it I will fully pursue a relationship with that person, even if my better instinct or gut judgement tell me otherwise. This latest fiasco lasted a total of 11 days, from initial attraction to final realization of my true feelings – if anything I guess I am getting better at it.

Either way, life can sometimes be exhausting.

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A Place I’ve Never Been – The Novel

2009-05-23T14:21:00.000-07:00

fam⋅i⋅ly -noun
[fam-uh-lee, fam-lee]
1. parents and their children, considered as a group, whether dwelling together or not

Although it took me longer than usual, I just finished reading the last few stories of David Leavitt’s novel A Place I’ve Never Been.

Leavitt’s understanding of the human condition is very prevalent in this book of short stories, from dealing with strong romantic feelings that can never be in a friendship between a straight woman and a gay man, to the trials and tribulations of living in a non-traditional family. Many of the stories centre on a similar theme, and that is of loss. Loss of a loved one, loss of a pet, a lost loved that could never happen – and behind it all the deep loneliness we all feel at one time or another.

Deciding to finish this novel at a time when I am feeling a little homesick has made me want to jump in my car right now and take the 600 kilometre trek back to hometown to reconnect with my own family.

Next on the List: Michael Ondaatje's, Coming Through Slaughter

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The 4 Guys

2009-05-13T19:18:00.000-07:00

i⋅de⋅a –noun
[ahy-dee-uh, ahy-deeuh]
1. any conception existing in the mind as a result of mental understanding, awareness, or activity

What a great idea!

If you liked this commercial, here are some other good ones from my review of the World's Best Commercials 2008.

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SEARCHLIGHT! Winner Phog Lounge Announces Concert Details

2009-05-11T13:05:00.000-07:00

head⋅lin⋅er –noun
[hed-lahy-ner]
1. a performer whose name appears most prominently in a program
Tom Lucier, of the Phog Lounge, announced live today on CBC Radio 3 the concert details for winning the Searchlight Contest for the Best Live Music Venue in Canada back in February.

So without further ado, here are the details:

Phog Lounge, Windsor, Ontario
Saturday, July 11th, 2009

Many local Windsor Bands will be performing during the Free All Day Event (charges for the VIP section).
CBC Radio 3 will be there for a live broadcast of headliner Holy Fuck.

I wish I could make it down to Windsor for this concert, but I already have passes for Bluefest here in Capital City. For all those that are going to attend, enjoy!

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How To Be Lame In Ottawa

2009-05-08T06:00:00.000-07:00

bor⋅ing –adjective
[bawr-ing, bohr-]
1. causing or marked by boredom

Over the last three weeks I have had three different friends from Hometown come visit, staying from six days to a weekend. I’ve now been living in Capital City for just under five years and you don’t realize how lame your life can be until you have someone come visit and you are expected to be their tour guide. It’s at the point when you are thinking of what to do with your guest that you realize `Hey I don’t really do anything, I’m pretty lame`.

Last night, around dusk, to chase away the ghosts I went for a long walk, which ended up being around ten kilometres. I would normally cross over the Rideau River and head towards the Market and stroll around, but last night I decided to walk along the Rideau River path, something I have never done in all the `just under five years` that I have been living here. It was very peaceful, away from the bulk of the traffic, listening to the sounds of trickling water and songs of different types of birds. I even stumbled upon some sort of ceremonial aboriginal dance. I wanted to stop and have a look but felt like I would be intruding.

On my three hour walk around parts of Capital City that I was just discovering for the first time, I took some time to reflect on the last five years of my life, specifically here in Ottawa. Understanding my lameness, I realized I could sum up my whole experience here in ten occurrences or less. So here it goes:

The ~~Top~~Only Ten Things I Have Experienced In Ottawa

When I first moved to Capital City I was a driving instructor, in fact that is the reason I moved here, I was transferred. The job only lasted eight months before I was laid off, but if anything I got to learn the city streets pretty well and hopefully taught a handful of kids how to drive safely.
The first two weeks that I was living here I walked around downtown and in the Market alone, going to bars and pubs by myself to check out the nightlife. On my very first outing I met a girl, and proceeded to never call her again. I thought to myself `Wow, if it’s this easy to meet girls…` Don’t worry karma taught me a lesson, and I didn’t meet another girl for 8 months, around the same time I lost my job, where in quick succession I met three girls and they all returned the favour by never calling me again.
At this point, an ex-girlfriend came back into my life for a brief period of time. When she would come to visit we would do some tourist type activities. We took a boat tour of the Ottawa River, we saw the Pompeii exhibit at the Museum of Civilizations, and took a walking tour around Parliament. I also took the Parliament tour twice, once with my Uncle who works in Centre Block and the latest time when a Hometown friend came to visit for six days.
After being a retired driving instructor for a few months I soon accepted a contract to work with the Ottawa Chamber Music Society and got a chance hear a lot of really amazing live classical music in many of the churches around Capital City. I also met the Governor General of Canada, Michaëlle Jean at one event. It was my responsibility to send out the letter to ask her to take part in our Christmas concert, where we wanted her to narrate the story of the Nutcracker. It was this contract that inevitably led me to my current line of work.
After my contract was up I took a job with a popular courier company, worked part-time at a local pub and started my foray into the world of freelance writing. If you haven’t noticed yet, other than the occasional night out at the bars, and the brief time I spent as a tourist with an ex-girlfriend I haven’t really done much in the terms of seeing anything in Ottawa. The last five will be pretty short.
I’ve been zip lining – although it is on the Quebec side.
I’ve been to one Ottawa Senators hockey game.
I’ve been to a handful of indie rock concerts and two Bluesfest.
I’ve hiked Gatineau Park approximately five times, two of them being on the most recent visits from Hometown friends. Again on the Quebec side, so I’m not sure if it counts.
For two and half hours I went snowboarding at Camp Fortune… once.

That about sums up my past five years in Capital City, other than dining out at some really good (and some really bad) restaurants, spending numerous times in the pubs and clubs, and attending the occasional BBQ, house or cottage party, that’s about it.

This my friends, is How To Be Lame In Ottawa.

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Wolfe Island Musicfest 2009

2009-05-04T13:56:00.000-07:00

line⋅up –noun
[lahyn-uhp]
1. a particular order or disposition of persons or things as arranged or drawn up for action

Today Virginia Clark, the Artistic Director of the Wolfe Island Musicfest 2009, released the 2009 line-up on CBC Radio3.

This year’s festival will be taking place Aug 7th and 8th and a weekend pass goes for $50, which includes camping.

I'm not very good at typing, so I was only able to get a few of the bands down, so here is the small list:

Holy Fuck
Apostle of Hustle
Rural Alberta Advantage
ohbijou
Woodhands
Attack in Black
P.S. I Love You

Per Virginia these are only a few of the confirmed ones (minus the two our three I missed) and there are still many more to be added to the show.

I went to the 2008 Wolfe Island Musicfest, had an amazing time, and will sure to be back this year.

Update:
CBC Radio3 finally released their blog post, so here are the three artists I missed:

Busdriver
The D'urbervilles
Julie Fader

You can also hear the interview with Virginia Clark.

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The Tree

2009-04-30T14:42:00.000-07:00

hope –noun
[hohp]
1. the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best

A picture I took in Costa Rica

When my Uncle was a young boy, around eight or nine years old, he came home one day with an average looking branch. My Nana asked what he was going to do with it, his plan, to plant it in the backyard and grow a tree. Well sure enough that branch did grow into a huge tree, big enough that the roots ended up causing some damage to the foundation years later.

Now is he just born with a green thumb, or was it a child’s hope that turned a branch into a tree?
I’ve decided to take on a project and turn an unused portion of my backyard into a summer oasis where I can do my work. So far all I have done is clean the garden area and already there are tulips and some other sort of plants flourishing.

Here’s to hoping that the green thumb is a genetic trait.

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The Mist

2009-04-23T22:29:00.000-07:00

o⋅ver⋅stim⋅u⋅late –verb
[oh-ver-stim-yuh-leyt]
1. to stimulate to an excessive degree
2. to expose to excessive stimulation

I don’t know if anyone else experiences the same phenomena, but whenever I am in a new place for the first time I find it hard to take in my surroundings. It seems my vision can only concentrate on one particular thing at a time. I have a centre focal point and everything surrounding is shrouded in a mist. It is as if my brain cannot comprehend this new environment and goes into overload. The side effect usually is that when I return to a place it seems much smaller than I originally thought.

Last night I attended a concert as part of BC Scene here in Capital City. I ‘won’ two tickets from my favourite radio station CBC Radio3, and although my attention was focused on both Dan Mangan and Danny Michel who are amazing artists, I had to blink away the mist that kept crowding my vision. Regardless of my encroaching mist problem the concert, held at the First Baptist Church, was simply amazing, hard bench pews and all.

If you would like to listen to the concert, which was recorded live, it should be available at CBC’s Concert on Demand. You can also see some live videos and read a better review of the concert from Emily Chen.

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Two Things I Have Recently Learned About Women

2009-04-21T08:00:00.000-07:00

con⋅fuse –verb
[kuhn-fyooz]
1. to perplex or bewilder
2. to make unclear or indistinct
3. to fail to distinguish between
I wish I could say I came to the insight through my own trial and error, but not being very bright in the ways of the female mind, anything I have figured out through my own experiences is more than likely incorrect anyhow. This past weekend I learned two ‘truths’ about women, from women. They are as follows:

1) Never, ever, ask a woman her age.
Addenda
i) Asking a women’s age should only be done to girls in their early 20’s and below.
ii) You can get away with asking a server/waitress her age, regardless of how old she is, as they will answer to ensure their gratuity is above the standard 15%. They may however not tell you the truth.

2) No really does mean Yes.
Addenda
i) A No in regards to sex, really does mean No.
ii) Three No’s in a row however really does mean No as well.

Confused? I know I still am.

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The Weekend Dad

2009-04-19T16:52:00.001-07:00

tra⋅di⋅tion –noun
[truh-dish-uhn]
1. a long-established or inherited way of thinking or acting
2. a customary or characteristic method or manner
I went to the local diner this morning for breakfast. Usually I enter to find like-minded individuals seeking a simple greasy breakfast to soak up the previous evenings beverages. This morning however I was three to four hours earlier then the regular afternoon brunch crowd, so upon entering I found a whole new group of individuals sitting in the cracked vinyl booths and keeping vigil on the old time chrome stools that surround the Formica counter. Early Sunday morning is apparently the time for the Weekend Dad to take his kids to breakfast.

Seeing all these groups of fathers with their younger children took me back to my weekends growing up. The weekend Dad is a predicable creature. He follows a similar pattern that has somehow been passed down through generations of weekend Dads. The Weekend Dad can be found taking his young children to a greasy spoon diner for breakfast, followed by a trip to a barbershop and maybe a stop over at the ice-cream shop before it is time to go back to weekday Mom’s house. There must be some club where the rules are discussed, guidelines are outlined and agendas are drawn up.

God forbid I ever become a Weekend Dad, (or a Dad for that matter) but if I ever do I am breaking the mould. I’m setting up some new routines. Although when I think of my Dad the memories that first come to mind are the weekend breakfasts, getting my haircut alongside him and going for an ice cream on a Sunday afternoon. In fact many years later, at the age of three decades, I still enjoy doing those things with my Dad… so maybe the traditions should remain the same after all.

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2010 Olympic Haircut

2009-04-15T08:26:00.000-07:00

vol⋅un⋅teer –noun
[vol-uhn-teer]
1. a person who voluntarily offers himself or herself for a service or undertaking
2. a person who performs a service willingly and without pay
After six months and 11 days I have finally broke down and have gotten the locks cut. Part of me did not want to succumb to society’s rules of ‘get a haircut and get a real job’, but as my interview for a volunteer position with the 2010 Olympics is just an hour away I though it best to look at least semi-presentable.

My whole plan was to get a haircut while I was visiting Hometown this past Easter weekend, however I received such rave reviews from friends and family for my long wavy locks that I couldn’t bring myself to do it. My decision was cemented one evening while standing outside of a pub, a very intoxicated girl walked down the street and said “You guyz are all hot!” referring to the six or so gentlemen, including myself, standing on the sidewalk. As she walked away she turned her head and said “Ezpecially you with the long hair”. Intoxicated or not, she noticed the hair, and my trip to the Hometown barber was postponed.

Upon waking this morning, I thought if I want to get that position with the 2010 Olympics I better take some sound words of advice from Pavement:

”I’m just a boy with a new haircut
And that’s a pretty nice haircut”

Wish me luck.

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Making Ends Meat

2009-04-08T10:35:00.000-07:00

con⋅fu⋅sion –noun
[kuhn-fyoo-zhuhn]
1. the act of confusing
2. the state of being confused
When I was younger my Nana was trying to explain to me that sometimes in life it is hard to make ends meet. My young, very literal mind imagined this dish, much like a meatloaf or some kind of tasty Christmas cake - at the time I think I thought about mincemeat, something I had also heard about but never had the chance of tasting. I found myself wishing we were a little poorer at the time so I could have the benefit of trying this Ends Meat I heard so much about.

I am not sure how long it took me to figure out that Ends Meat was not a tasty dish for the poor, but in fact was a phrase about struggling to survive. In fact as I grew older and learned how hard it can be to make ends meet sometimes, I found it is not very often that one can afford to eat meat, in any form, either the end or the middle.

In ways I am still a very literal person – I was that kid after all who thought, for more years than I wish to admit, that a Dump Truck was called a Dumb Truck. Even after being lambasted by childhood friends for calling their toy truck dumb, it still took awhile for me to clue in to the proper name.

If you have ever spoken to me in person, you may have noticed that some of the words or phrases that come out of my mouth make no sense. I am probably just confused, and may have been for sometime. So please, do me a favour, correct my vocabulary, trust me, I will not mind.

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A Complete History of My Sexual Failures – The Documentary

2009-04-05T15:51:00.000-07:00

re⋅al⋅i⋅za⋅tion –noun
[ree-uh-luh-zey-shuhn]
1. the act of realizing or the state of being realized
2. an instance or result of realizing
After a rash of failures and too many late nights I decided to spend the afternoon in bed watching movies and generally feeling sorry for my hopelessness when it comes to the dating scene. Thankfully I found a kindred spirit in Chris Waitt and his documentary A Complete History of My Sexual Failures.

Of course the title immediately caught my eye, frankly how couldn’t it, and within 89 minutes I was given a view, of what could essentially be my life, into the life a love loser.

After his most recent break-up, Waitt goes on a quest to interview all his past girlfriends, of which, as he reports, they have all dumped him for one reason or another. Along the way he experiments with Viagara and S&M, trying to understand what’s wrong with himself, why he is flawed when it comes to relationships.

If you are failing in the dating game, this may not be a bad approach. Contact all your ex’s, well the ones that will talk to you anyway, and find out your flaws. Get some constructive criticism, and work on your weaknesses.
Or just keep making the same old mistakes.

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The Chameleon

2009-04-04T01:27:00.000-07:00

mul⋅ti⋅fac⋅et⋅ed –adjective
[muhl-tee-fas-i-tid]
1. having many facets
2. having many aspects or phases
I am pretty sure no one I really know reads this blog (excluding the African Accent), in fact I am surprised anyone actually reads it, but I am once again feeling reflective and thought I would share my thoughts.

A chameleon has the ability to change colour and blend in with their surroundings. To use the word as a descriptive word for humans, I think a chameleon has the ability to blend in with their social surroundings. In short, taking on the personality that fits the moment.

I myself feel I have chameleon qualities. I am not going to get into the whats, whens, wheres and hows, but leave you with this – I feel for my fellow human beings, and will, if the need arises, adapt myself to the situation where a perceived outcome is attainable by said fellow human beings.

To make myself more understandable, if I feel you need some help to obtain a social goal, I will adapt a personification, which leads you to that goal. As every person is different, and is motivated in different ways, I am truly a chameleon in which I will become that personality that stimulates you into action.

So not to ruin the magic, if you know me personally, but my attitude may just be adjusted because I am helping you to achieve your goal. Don’t take my personality to heart, as I said, I am a chameleon and can wear many guises.
The true me, well I am not really sure who that is yet, but this blog helps to give me a little understanding into my own mind.

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April Fool’s Day

2009-04-01T19:30:00.000-07:00

hoax –noun
[hohks]
1. something intended to deceive or defraud
I’ve always liked a good prank, and felt compelled to set-up an April Fool’s prank on my landlord and his girlfriend last night. Originally I attempted to do the ole’ salt on toothbrush prank, but at last minute I decided against it. Instead I set all the clocks in the kitchen one hour behind. In hindsight this morning I thought it would have been better to set the clocks one hour ahead, just in case there were any appointments that needed to be met today. Better to be one hour early rather than one hour late.

The following is a transcript of the text conversation between my landlord and I:

LL – “Did someone set all your clocks an hour behind too?”

Me – Aprils Fool’s! Hope it didn’t cause too many problems, sorry if it did. Thought about it this morning, should have really set it ahead and not back.”

LL – "You got me for a second, just confused, not fooled. It's not April Confused day. Try again."

Check out this great list of The Top 100 April Fool's Day Hoaxes of All Time.

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Oryx and Crake – The Novel

2009-03-31T00:01:00.000-07:00

dys⋅to⋅pi⋅a –noun
[dis-toh-pee-uh]
1. a society characterized by human misery, as squalor, oppression, disease, and overcrowding

ars longa vita brevis
I just finished the novel Oryx and Crake by Margaret Atwood. Not being familiar with her I work I had no idea she delved into the world of science fiction. Unlike my post about Ursula K. LeGuin’s form of science-fiction writing, Margaret Atwood actually takes the genre as most do, not using it as a vehicle to take you on the journey, but using the genre to propel you into the future to show how the wrongs that we are committing today will effect us tomorrow.

In the story Jimmy aka Snowman leads us through the tale of civilizations ultimate collapse from a society obsessed with beauty and youth that will do anything to obtain it. Gene splicing, Internet addiction and mass media are some of the common themes related to humanities utter demise. Jimmy is obsessed with learning old words that he discovers in archaic paper bound books that have yet to be replaced with digital copies from the Universities library. Throughout the novel these words, which he repeats like a mantra, give Jimmy a form solace of being the only remaining human alive.

Archaic or not, I did not recognize some of Jimmy’s words so have developed the following list:

mesozoic

pastiche

lassitude

norn

pibroch

lubricious

mephitic

metatarsus

maudlin

erudite

inchoate

chiaroscuro

Next book on the list: A Place I've Never Been, written by David Leavitt

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Things I'm Not Going To Do

2009-03-30T07:18:00.001-07:00

jinx –verb
[jingks]
1. to bring bad luck to; place a jinx on
2. to destroy the point of Without fail, whenever I mention something that I am planning to do in the near future, whether it is in the next few hours, days, weeks, months or even a year, it never comes to fruition.

I am becoming superstitious to a point where I no longer want to talk about any upcoming plans. Case in point, the last two weekends I mentioned my plans to someone, they fell apart. The only time things ever seem to happen is when the discussion occurs only with the group that is involved.

Here are some recent things that I have talked about doing, which if the trend is correct, should never come to fruition:

Apply for a yearlong holiday work visa for Australia

Volunteering for the 2010 Olympic games in Vancouver

Going to Portland, Oregon for a two-week vacation

Visiting Iceland

Travelling around Newfoundland & Labrador this summer

Anytime something falls apart I become very despondent. It’s a feeling of never being able to win. As if some greater force wants to ruin anything I set out to do. But I think I have finally figured it out. The greater force only becomes informed when I start talking about my plans to people. So therefore, logically all I have to do is stop talking about my plans, and everything should fall into place.

Well I’m up early, so today I’m going to… oh wait a minute, nevermind.

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Earth Hour

2009-03-29T10:41:00.000-07:00

for⋅get –verb
[fer-get]
1. to cease or fail to remember; be unable to recall

Yesterday was a whirlwind of activities, from getting lost in the woods, having drinks on the roof of a high-rise and sitting around a fire cooking sausages and hotdogs. Amongst many beverages I completely forgot about Earth Hour. I guess there is always next year...

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You Win

2009-03-27T22:42:00.000-07:00

de⋅ject⋅ed –adjective
[di-jek-tid]
1. depressed in spirits; disheartened; low-spirited

I give up.

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Free Movies To Watch In Ottawa

2009-03-26T20:14:00.000-07:00

free –adjective
[free]
1. without cost, payment, or charge

The NCC and the Genie Awards are providing Ottawa moviegoers a chance to see some great Genie nominee films for free! Starting this Saturday, March 28th and going on until Friday, April 3rd in celebration of Genie week, you can see the following films:

Amal
Sunday, March 29 - 8 pm to 10 pm - Canada Aviation Museum, 11 Aviation Parkway, Ottawa
Monday, March 30 - 7 pm to 10 pm - Centrepointe Theatre, Ben Franklin Place, 101 Centrepointe Drive, Ottawa

Ce qu’il faut pour vivre
Wednesday, April 1 - 7 pm to 9 pm - Canadian Museum of Civilization, 100 Laurier Street, Gatineau

Free Lunch Time Shorts
Every weekday from noon to 1:30 pm (except Thursday) - Library and Archives Canada, 395 Wellington Street, Ottawa

Infiniment Québec
Sunday, March 29 - 8 pm to 10 pm - Café Aux 4 Jeudis, 44 Laval Street, Gatineau

My Winnipeg
Monday, March 30 - 7 pm to 10 pm - Canada Science & Technology Museum, 1867 St Laurent Blvd, Ottawa

Normal
Monday, March 30 - 7 pm to 8:30 pm - Centrepointe Theatre, Ben Franklin Place, 101 Centrepointe Drive, Ottawa
Wednesday, April 1 - 7 pm to 10 pm - Arts Court, 2 Daly Avenue, Ottawa (TBC)

Necessities of Life
Thursday, April 2 - 5 pm to 9 pm - National Gallery of Canada, 380 Sussex Drive, Ottawa

Passchendaele
Saturday, March 28 - 1 pm to 4 pm - Canadian War Museum, 1 Vimy Place, Ottawa
Friday, April 3 - 7 pm to 10 pm - The Diefenbunker, Canada’s Cold War Museum, 3911 Carp Road, Carp, Ontario

Tout est Parfait
Monday, March 30 - 8 pm to 10 pm - Pavillon Lucien-Brault, Université du Québec en Outaouais, 101, Saint-Jean-Bosco Street, Gatineau

Up the Yangtze
Thursday, April 2 - 7 pm to 10 pm - Canadian Museum of Nature, 240 McLeod Street, Ottawa

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Me Talk Pretty One Day – The Novel

2009-03-24T17:06:00.000-07:00

u⋅ni⋅lin⋅gual –adjective
[yoo-nuh-ling-gwuhl]
1. using only one language
From trying to overcome a lisp as a child to struggling to learn French in his early 40’s, David Sedaris takes you on an amusing ride with his book of memoirs, entitled Me Talk Pretty One Day. Sedaris, an American humour novelist who is also a regular contributor to a public radio program called This American Life, moved to Paris and decided to take up learning the local language. This novel is what emerged, with many of the stories recounted from his time in France. It’s a great read, and at points laugh-out-loud funny.

It has inspired me, as many things easily do, to pick up my old dusty book of French verbs and try to reacquaint myself with the language. Currently residing in Capital City I have unlimited opportunities to practice my skills, but like many things on the to do list, have yet to do anything about it.

As I had mentioned in a previous post, my Papa is known for his great advice, my problem has always been following it.

When I was in grade school he was very impressed that the school system was teaching us all French. In his time I think they taught Latin. Although he never came out and said it, I feel that it was his hope that one day I would be proficient enough in the language to teach him. What he always instilled in me was to keep up on my French skills, as one day I may need it. This is something pretty heavy to lie on an eight year old. He kept at it through the years and so did I. I in fact took French until my OAC year in highschool, but unfortunately retained none of it. Throughout my 10 years of learning the French language in school, my Papa repeated his advice, and I kept thinking ‘why, I’m never going to move to Quebec anyway’.

And yet here I find myself years later still unilingual, approximately 600km’s away from home, living in the government town of government towns, in bilingual Capital City, thinking once again that I should have heeded my Papa’s advice.

Next book on the list: Oryx and Crake, written by Margaret Atwood

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Liar Liar – The Life

2009-03-23T19:33:00.000-07:00

hab⋅it –noun
[hab-it]
1. an acquired behaviour pattern regularly followed until it has become almost involuntary

Can the liars of the world really be blamed for their character? From the time we are able to speak we are taught how to lie. From Santa Claus to the Easter Bunny and every other silly thing that adults like to tell children, like the stork, the tooth fairy and maybe even God, we are led to believe in something in our most impressionable years and then are cruelly told, usually by an older sibling or a childhood pal in the schoolyard, that everything we have ever believed in, everything that the most trusted adults in our life had assured us is real, is in fact a lie.

You’re taught right from wrong, good from bad, so if Mom and Dad told you a lie about Santa Claus, then lying must be okay right? Is there a line when it comes to good and bad lies? And if so when do you cross it?

Are there good lies, and if so what are they?

lying to save someone from hurt feelings

lying to get a job, keep a job, leave a job

lying to get into a relationship, keep a relationship, leave a relationship

lying to a child about a mythical being who gives presents

Are any of these expectable lies?

My Papa is a wise man and has handed down many sage pieces of advice over the years – one that I have yet to follow is this:

“If you never tell a lie you will never have to remember anything.”

I have lived a lie many times throughout my life, usually for employment but sometimes for survival. In fact as a writer the only way I get paid is to lie. So where do I fall on the lie scale?

The Lie Scale*

The Occasional Liar
This category pretty much covers all of us, from the person who lies about why they are late for dinner to the parent who tells their children that a rabbit hides chocolate eggs around the house once a year. Most people don’t like to lie and are not very good at it, but they’ll do it to avoid an unpleasant situation or because they don’t want to admit to doing something embarrassing. Think 'You'.

The Frequent Liar
Frequent liars know lying is wrong, but it doesn’t make them as uncomfortable as the Occasional Liar. For this reason, they are more likely to lie regularly and are less likely to reveal lies through their appearance. Think 'Player'.

The Habitual Liar
Habitual liars are fairly uncommon. These are people who have difficulty separating fact from fiction and who say whatever comes to their minds no matter how exaggerated, ridiculous, illogical or untruthful it may be. Habitual liars lie so frequently that they never show physical discomfort, but they are so sloppy with content that they are easy to catch. Think 'The One-Upper'.

The Professional Liar
Professional liars have thought their lies through and know exactly what they’re going to say and when. Because the lie has been practiced so often, it will not be revealed by the liar’s voice, body language or appearance. Think 'Salesman' or 'Writer'.

*Source: Adapted from Various Types of Liars

I am a liar. Don’t believe anything I say. I am telling the truth.

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The Left Hand of Darkness – The Novel

2009-03-18T06:31:00.001-07:00

se⋅mi⋅ot⋅ics –noun
[see-mee-ot-iks]
1. the study of signs and symbols as elements of communicative behaviour; the analysis of systems of communication, as language, gestures, or clothing
2. a general theory of signs and symbolism, usually divided into the branches of pragmatics, semantics, and syntactics
“I talk about the gods, I am an atheist. But I am an artist too, and therefore a liar. Distrust everything I say, I am telling the truth.”

The Left Hand of Darkness is a science fiction novel by Ursula K. LeGuin. Like many good fictional stories from any genre, The Left Hand of Darkness is comprised of fully formed character development and the story is rife with mystery, suspense and deep human emotion. Even if said human emotions stem from androgynous figures known as Gethenians.

On a mission to enlist the Gethen, also referred to as planet Winter, into the federation of 83 planets, alien Genly Ai recounts his time on Gethen as an Envoy for the Ekumen. Mixed with legends of Gethen and also seen through the eyes of Estraven, an exiled politician of Karhide, one of the countries of Gethen, you get a well rounded history of Gethen while following the trials and tribulations of Genly Ai.

Now that last paragraph may just sound like nonsense, but once you get past the science fiction of the novel - after all sci-fi is just the vehicle to tell the story, and it is never what you are riding along in that is the forefront of your memory, but rather it is the journey that is most memorable – it is easy to enjoy the story and feel a connection with the characters, no matter how different they may appear physically.

I was recommended Ursula K. LeGuin one evening after explaining my dream Timequake, and the story I want to write based on it. I enjoyed this book and the writing reminded me of other science fiction works I have read by Iain M. Banks.

Next book on the list: Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris

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Suit Up!

2009-03-14T10:06:00.001-07:00

leg⋅end⋅ar⋅y –adjective
[lej-uhn-der-ee]
1. of, pertaining to, or of the nature of a legend
2. celebrated or described in legend
30 days ago the plan was formed, albeit a drunken misinformed plan was cobbled together, but here we are 30 days later and said drunken plan is about to come to fruition. Tonight will be the first of, what I hope are many, Second Saturday Suit Up’s!

The plan is basic, throw on your best suit, or any suit for that matter – for myself I am rocking the highschool graduation suit, my financial situation doesn’t allow for a new suit in the budget, even though as a 30 year old I seriously need a new one or two - and go out on the town, causing trouble and awesomeness wherever you go.

Will tonight be legendary? Will debauchery ensue? We can only hope. Until then, Suit Up!

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Timequake - The Dream

2009-03-05T07:13:00.000-08:00

dread –verb
[dred]
1. to fear greatly; be in extreme apprehension of: to dread death.
2. to be reluctant to do, meet, or experience

I awoke this morning just before 7am from a very odd dream. As I mentioned on twitter, to understand my dream ‘think Timequake, with a me twist, and than you've seen inside my head’.
Timequake is the 19th novel written by Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., essentially the plot line goes like this:

The universe snaps back from 2001 to 1991

Everyone is doomed to repeat the last 10 years on autopilot

When time gets back to the point where it snapped back there is chaos, as everyone has to actually start doing things for themselves. After 10 years of being on autopilot you suddenly have to remember how to drive a car – and I mean like right now!

So my dream, Timequake’esque, is this:

I am at my Mom’s house for this big party. Apparently we all know this Timequake occurrence is going to happen and we’ve gathered all our loved ones together to celebrate. What’s different in my dream from the novel is this Timequake is a well-known and predicted global phenomenon where everyone, for a few short hours, is going to decrease in age by 14 years.

I spontaneously revert to a 16yr old kid, my younger 2nd cousin becomes an infant, a new friend of mine from Romania – who is meeting my family for the first time – turns into a very bratty 8yr old, and another cousin – one who shared the same age as me – somehow is transformed into a 2yr old. For some unknown reason he decreases by double the expected amount.

There is some family discussion about age, but after about an hour everyone sort of overlooks the miracle and just goes about the day preparing the meal we will later all feast on. After the couple of hours that we were told the phenomenon would last everyone starts to revert back to their normal ages. I can suddenly feel it happening with the onset of a slight pain in my knees and hips, a pain that I have grown to ignore, but the sudden onset of it is alarming. I run around to members of my family and mention this sudden aging, but no one is concerned, it is as if this is nothing for them. Within a mere 5 minutes everyone begins to age 14 years right before my eyes.

And that’s it.

I woke up.

I never found out what happened to my cousin, the one that decreased in age by 28 years. Did he revert back to a 30yr old, or did he only age until he was a 16yr old?

I thought this dream might make a good story – looking at the after effects of the phenomenon. What happened to people who had lost a limb, or survived a disease? What happened with the dead, pregnant women or children under 14?

Maybe on one of these bored and broke nights alone that I spend inside I will sit down and write the story.

Working title: Lost Children

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World's Best Commercials 2008

2009-02-26T17:54:00.000-08:00

ad⋅ver⋅tis⋅ing –noun
[ad-ver-tahy-zing]
1. the act or practice of calling public attention to one's product, service, need, etc., esp. by paid announcements in newspapers and magazines, over radio or television, on billboards, etc.

I just returned from watching the World's Best Commercials 2008, a showcase of the best international commercials as recognized by the London International Awards for advertising. Here are some of my favourite ads from tonight:

Nintendo’s – Sponge
Cadbury’s – Gorilla
Herringbone’s – Henri's Hands
Ameriquest's – Brownie
Thrifty’s – Birthday Girl
Allan Gray Limited's – Beautiful
Freixenet Carta Nevada Reserva's – The Key to Reserva

On a personal note, this was my first foray into watching a movie at a theatre alone. I’ve gone to parties, bars, clubs and out for dinner all solo. On the list of social activities to do alone one of the only things left for me to do was to sit in a dark theatre with 100 other audience members. Check

And now I’ve done it. Next thing on the list - solo traveling.

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SEARCHLIGHT! Winner Phog Lounge Declared Best Live Music Club in Canada

2009-02-25T13:28:00.000-08:00

con·test -noun
[kŏn'těst']
1. A struggle for superiority or victory between rivals
It started a month ago with a list of 114 nominated venues from coast to coast. Then the Top 50 were announced, then the Top 20. A week ago, it was the Top 10... and today the Grand Prize winner of the CBC Radio3 Searchlight Best Live Music Club in Canada was announced.

Congrats to the Phog Lounge located in Windsor, Ontario!

As the Grand Prize winner the Phog Lounge will receive:

A concert of their choice presented by CBC
A SIRIUS Satellite Radio System
CBC Radio3 clothing for all the staff
A plaque and trophy declaring the Phog Lounge the #1 Live Music Venue in all of Canada

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Futurama No More?

2009-02-25T02:46:00.000-08:00

can⋅cel⋅la⋅tion –noun
[kan-suh-ley-shuhn]
1. an act of canceling

Futurama - Into the Wild Green Yonder

I just finished, what very well may be, the last ever episode of Futurama. This last ‘season’ (their fifth) has been four straight to DVD movies, the first was released on November 27th, 2007 and the last just yesterday, February 24th 2009. The movies are as follows:

1. Bender's Big Score
2. The Beast with a Billion Backs
3. Bender's Game
4. Into the Wild Green Yonder

From some articles I just finished reading there does not appear to be any more DVD’s in the making, nor does it look like they will be coming back for a 6th season, but I guess that will all depend upon the DVD sales.

Overall it has been a good run, I have thoroughly enjoyed the show, which has been on and off again since the first airing in 1999. This last instalment, Into the Wild Green Yonder, does not disappoint and stays in the typical Futurama style. So if you like the show, support them and go out and buy the DVD.

Who knows, your one ‘vote’ may just matter.

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Frank Black and the Pixies

2009-02-21T09:23:00.000-08:00

con⋅fi⋅dence –noun
[kon-fi-duhns]
1. belief in oneself and one's powers or abilities; self-reliance
2. certitude; assurance
Last night I finally saw a live Pixies show. I actually met Frank Black and Kim Deal up close and personal. I managed to get myself up on stage and convinced my way into being a backup vocalist…. yah right in my dreams.

Well it was a dream, maybe two mashed up together, so I will leave the first half of the dream out as it has little to no bearing on the second part:

ACT II
I made my way through the cold wind and icy rain to the worn out brick building that had been converted into a music hall. For some reason I had Suited Up(!) and was wearing my $5 leather jacket as an overcoat. I had a moment of bravado and inspiration seeing the yellow jacketed security guard leave his post to the two female ticket takers. I boldly left my place in line and walked to the front of the crowd and explained that I was the talent. I was a vocalist that was called in at the last moment and that I had to get to the staging area right away. My performance was so good that they let me through without any questions. I tend to think it was the suit.

Once on stage the band, the Pixies(!), where setting up their gear, doing their own sound checks, testing their equipment. I explained to Frank Black that I was here to be the backup vocalist. He gave me a funny look as if he wasn’t sure, but finally shrugged his shoulders and set me up with a microphone.

I never did get to do any signing, but I did do a lot of dancing around with the mic stand during the first set. At intermission it started raining over the venue, apparently there was no roof on the building so we had to put tarps up over the stage so the band wouldn’t get electrocuted. They then brought in a meal for the band, huge trays of spaghetti and meatballs. The creepy looking guy in the yellow jacket that helped to bring in the food pulled me aside and let me know that he was going to pound the hell out of me after I left the show. He was angry for me embarrassing him. Apparently when he left his post and I managed to sneak myself into being part of the band was a great embarrassment to him. We threw him off the stage and…. well that was the time I met the Pixies.

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In The Navy - The Dream

2009-02-20T07:29:00.000-08:00

re·spon·si·bil·i·ty -noun
[rĭ-spŏn'sə-bĭl'ĭ-tē]
1. The state, quality, or fact of being responsible
2. Something for which one is responsible; a duty, obligation, or burden
Last night I dreamt that I was in the navy, or at least worked on some sort of boat that required uniforms. Originally I was a quartermaster (I’m not sure if that is really a naval term) and then for reasons unknown I was bumped down to a deck hand. I had to return my navy blue uniform and trade it in for a white one. I was happy to be demoted, as I put it in my dream, when you are a quartermaster you are really just the officers bitch but when you are a deck hand all you have to do is mop and are pretty much left alone. I’m not sure if that makes any sense but I was happy for the downgrade of responsibilities.

I think I later snuck off the ship, or it was just another dream entirely, but for whatever reason I was in Sault Ste Marie where I purchased a brand new red 350cc Kawasaki and drove it to Hometown where I was attending a wedding for friends of mine. I’ve never driven a motorcycle, both in real life and in my dream, frankly I’m scared of them, but in my dream I was pleasantly surprised at the ease of it.
Who knows, maybe I will get a bike this summer, or join the navy…

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Television Killed The Dream Machine

2009-02-19T16:28:00.000-08:00

dream -noun
[drēm]
1. A series of images, ideas, emotions, and sensations occurring involuntarily in the mind during certain stages of sleep

Being slightly broke, okay really broke, I have been watching a lot of television in my free time, way to much television to be precise. I’m typically not the kind of person that watches a lot of television but when the most cost affordable thing to do is stay home, it is easy an easy distraction.

I’m out of new books to read, I find most video games too addictive to own a system, and I haven’t been inspired to write anything other than this blog. So television has become my new friend, my new distraction from the world around me since I am too poor to participate in it. That and I really don’t have any friends. I’ve got some acquaintances, but none that really invite me places. And I am the kind of person that will wait to be invited somewhere, I guess that is the Libra in me.

Anyway I’ve been watching countless of hours of television these last couple of months. Here is just a list of what distracts me on a weekly basis:

Seinfeld
Simpsons
King of the Hill
Family Guy
Malcolm in the Middle
Futurama
Law and Order
Law and Order SVU
Lost
Heroes
Supernatural
How I Met Your Mother

I’ve got a good 5-10 hours of television a day there. I hate myself for it. I wish I was doing something more production with the time I have to eat up before I fall asleep each day, but I have no idea what to do. Plus I think I am lonely and television fills that void a bit.

Until recently I would have these amazingly vivid unique dreams full of plot twists, excitement and intrigued. My dreams were so good that many times I would force myself back to sleep just to continue the dream. Lately these dreams have been losing their creativity and are full of all my television friends. For example I had a dream last night where Bobby Hill met his doppelganger and they developed a magic routine that took Arlen by storm.

How sad is it that now 8 hours of sleep I get are punctuated with characters from the 5-10 hours of television I watch? I guess if anything I could try to write some of these scripts and pitch them to those shows that are still being made. Or I could just stop watching television… because if I don't, before I know it my dreams will also feature commercials.

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Searchlight! What Is The Best Live Music Club in Canada? Top Ten Revealed!

2009-02-19T13:57:00.000-08:00

ven⋅ue –noun
[ven-yoo]
1. the scene or locale of any action or event
If you haven’t yet figured it out, I am addicted to CBC Radio3. Every couple months they do The Searchlight! where they pick a topic, such as this rounds What Is The Best Live Music Club in Canada?, ask everyone to submit suggestions and then they start doing votes.

From a list of 114 venues they are now down to 10:

Aeolian Hall, London ON

Amigo’s Cantina, Saskatoon SK

Baba’s Lounge, Charlottetown PE

Call The Office, London ON

The Capital Bar, Fredericton NB

George’s Fabulous Roadhouse, Sackville NB

The Grad Club, Kingston ON

Phog Lounge , Windsor ON

Starlight Social Club, Waterloo ON

Zaphod Beeblebrox, Ottawa ON

Get your vote in now. The winner will be announced on February 25th.

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My Own Personal Groundhog Day

2009-02-18T14:15:00.000-08:00

pro⋅cras⋅ti⋅nate –verb
[proh-kras-tuh-neyt, pruh-]
1. to defer action; delay: to procrastinate until an opportunity is lost.
I feel like my life has just become one long ever-repeating day without any break in it.

Chorus
I wake up, I work, I eat, I work, I shower, I work, I check the mail, I work, I eat, I work, I watch television, I work, I sleep.

Repeat Chorus

I go out for something social on the weekend, a concert or some drinks.

Repeat Chorus

I go to the bank to cash a cheque.

Repeat Chorus

I pay some bills, a debt that never seems to get smaller.

Repeat Chorus

I pay my rent.

Repeat Chorus

I buy some groceries.

Repeat Chorus

I get older.

Repeat Chorus

Something’s got give.

Repeat Chorus

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The Ring & Friday The 13th

2009-02-13T21:31:00.001-08:00

ring –noun
[ring]
1. a typically circular band of metal or other durable material, esp. one of gold or other precious metal, often set with gems, for wearing on the finger as an ornament, a token of betrothal or marriage
No this is not a review of some horror slasher flicks, but another memory of mine that has bubbled to the surface. When I was a teenager my mother gave me a ring, a wedding band to be precise, that belonged to my great-grandmother. My great-grandmother, Sadie as she was known, passed away when I was just a baby, but I was said to be one of her favourites.

Sometimes my family has a weird, paranormal type of thing that goes on with them. Well at least in hindsight they feel they do. When Sadie passed all four of her grandchildren experienced something extraordinary. While working on the assembly line my Uncle had a visit from his dead grandfather who let him know Sadie had passed. My Aunt, who was at a gala, suddenly turned white ‘as a ghost’ and had to sit down, she said she automatically knew what happened. My other Uncle, well I can’t quite remember his tale but it was just as amazing, if not more. Sadie, who wanted to see me one last time, although she later declined, as she was afraid the light surrounding her would wake me, actually visited my Mom herself. My Mom later said she woke up on the couch with tears streaming down her face but felt the visit was genuine.

From that day forward my Mom was convinced that Sadie was my guardian angel, and I grew up hearing the tale. When I was about 14 years old my Mom bequeathed to me my great-grandmothers golden wedding band. Four about five to six years I wore that band on the pinkie finger of my right hand. When in a flirtatious mood I would explain that the person who’s finger fit the ring would be my true love, and only they I could marry. Of course I am at my most flirtatious when I am in the drink.

Unfortunately I lost the ring, on one such flirtatious occasion, and have never found it. Some people say the spirit stays with material items, and if that is the case I may have lost my guardian angel. I may have lost a piece of the great-grandmother I never knew, but always felt was there.

And if my drunken flirtatious ramblings where correct I may have also lost the chance to ever meet my one true love.

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Not Into Head Games...

2009-02-09T20:23:00.000-08:00

head games –noun
[hed gāms]
1. the act of deluding; deception by creating illusory ideas
Head games, we've all experienced them, either on the receiving end or the ones dolling them out. Why does one choose to play these head games rather than just say what is on their mind or just keeping their thoughts to themselves and leaving well enough alone? Who knows, besides a psychologist of course, but hey those cost money right?

I feel like sharing some reflection time so here I go. I once met the grandchild of a neighbour of mine. Now you might be thinking Grandchild!, but before I continue the story let me assure you that my neighbour is a 97 year old woman, and her grandchild is really an adult in their 30's.

Back to the grandchild, we met by happenstance; we exchanged phone numbers and email addresses. We talked, texted and instant messaged one another for about a week’s time. We planned to meet on a weekend, plans were changed, cancelled, and then changed again. Or first real date was an early weekend morning, what some kids these days are calling a booty call.

Alcohol fuelled decisions are never a wise choice.

The early morning weekend date was over at dawn, we parted ways with the intention to see each other soon. This is when the head games began. For the next 48 hours I was barraged with a roller coaster of emotions, text after text, after crazy text.

“I don’t think I really like you...”
“I’m sorry for what I said…”
“I never want to hear from you again…”
“I want to see you right now…”
“You will never have to hear from me again!”

Just 48 short hours later my neighbour’s grandchild was quickly sliding below the line on the Hot Crazy Scale. Starting out well above the line, one potentially wrong alcohol fuelled booty call and 48 hours later, well the following graph can explain it better:

Moral of the story – well I guess there are two:

1) If you have something on your mind, or feel guilty about a decision you made, just say it or keep it to yourself. Either way head games are not they way to go.
2) Unless you are emotionally ready for it, alcohol fuelled early morning dates (booty calls) are probably not a good idea.

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Universal Humour

2009-02-04T21:44:00.001-08:00

co⋅in⋅ci⋅dence –noun
[koh-in-si-duhns]
1. a striking occurrence of two or more events at one time apparently by mere chance

“A coincidence is a small miracle in which God chooses to remain anonymous.”

Almost everyone has experienced that period of time after a serious relationship where they have been ‘intimate’ with their ex-partner. The time limit for post break-up tumbles can last from a number of hours to a number of months. I’m sure many people have their limits when it comes to the length of time, for myself I’ve run the gambit from just a few short minutes to over a year and a half, and everything in-between.

It may be easier when it happens to a friend, but have you ever noticed how sometimes the rebound, or the next relationship, resembles the previous one? I’m sure it is completely a psychological thing, especially for the loser of the break-up, but it is something you can never really see happening to yourself. Love is blind after all, even if said love is just of the rebound one-night tumble variety.

Coincidence, providence, fate, karma, whatever it is that is powering the universal gears I am sure it has a sense of humour. Each and every time I have gone through the pain of a break-up, sometimes as the victor, many more times as the loser, there has always been a comical situation involved with my triumphant return to the dating world.

One of my past relationships didn’t end so well, actually none of them really do, but this one in particular was not a very good ending. There are two main ways that one reacts to a break-up:

1) Sitting home feeling sorry for themselves
2) Falling into self-destructo mode

Number one is self explanatory, but number two may need some explanation. Self-destructo mode can be easily recognized in a newly single friend by the excessive drinking, smoking and partying that they participate in. It may even result in numerous rebound one-night tumbles. If you are the one that is newly single ask yourself the following questions:

- Do you wake up on a Wednesday morning still buzzing from the night before?
- Does you mouth taste like you swallowed an ashtray?
- Do you have to search for the wallet/purse of the unknown person that is sleeping in your bed just to find out their name?

If you answered Yes to at least one of these questions you may be suffering from a case of self-destructo mode.

Anyway, I digress, back to me. The universe is a funny place and I was suffering from a raging case of self-desructo mode. The humorous moment that comes to mind was at an annual party where I met someone, well I very briefly met them anyway, and somehow ended up alone with them at the end of the night. This was to be my first physical experience with someone since the break-up, and as it turned out it was a mutual occurrence. We shared more in common then just crawling out of the dark pit of a recent break-up; turns out our ex-partners had the same names as we did. Here I was trying to forget about _______ through excessive drinking and partying and then I end up meeting someone with the exact same name, who coincidently enough broke-up with someone that had the exact same name as me…

The universe is a funny place I tell you.

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